Body Image

Self esteem is revolutionary

8 March, 2010

The not good enough's

In a culture where negative self talk is actively encouraged most of us have days when we feel like we don’t measure up. This practice of comparing ourselves and our bodies with others rarely produces good outcomes. It’s such a damaging culture that even those with high self esteem aren’t immune. Even those who are activists, advocating for fat acceptance, aren’t safe.

When I find myself in these moments where I compare myself to others and despair at the ways I am lacking, I try to remember this. Some people are surprised that I can fight for size diversity, human rights and self-love so fiercely yet still be afflicted with bouts of crippling low confidence – but I’ve got to tell you right now, this is proof of our self-hating culture.

Margaret Cho, someone more eloquent (and hilarious) than I, says it really well.

And I have a lot of self-esteem, which is amazing, because I’m probably somebody who wouldn’t necessarily have a lot of self esteem, as I am considered a minority. And if you are a woman; if you are a person of color; if you are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender; if you are a person of size; if you are person of intelligence; if you are a person of integrity, then YOU are considered a minority in this world. And it’s going to be really hard to find messages of self-love and support anywhere, especially women’s and gay men’s culture. It’s all about how you have to look a certain way, or else you’re worthless. You know, when you look in the mirror and think, “Ugh, I’m so ugly, I’m so fat, I’m so old.” Don’t you know that’s not your authentic self? That is billions upon billions of dollars of advertising: magazines, movies, billboards, all geared to make you feel shitty about yourself, so that you will take your hard-earned money, and spend it at the mall on some turn-around creme that doesn’t turn around shit. If you don’t have self-esteem, you will hesitate before you do anything in your life. You will hesitate to go for the job you want to go for. You will hesitate to ask for a raise. You will hesitate to call yourself an American. You will hesitate to report a rape. You will hesitate to defend yourself when you are discriminated against because of your race, your sexuality, your size, your gender. You will hesitate to vote. You will hesitate to dream. For us to have self-esteem is truly an act of revolution, and our revolution is long overdue. I urge you all today, especially today in these times of terrorism and chaos, to love yourselves without reservation and to love each other without restraint. Unless you’re into leather, then by all means, use restraints. Thank you.

Copy and paste this in a txt file, or make it your desktop. Read it all the time and remember it.

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  • You're so great. Which leads me to my next piece of writing.

    We should go and have some coffee or something.
    Or tea. I mean, im not a huger on either. But I don't mind choc coffee. heh

  • ginagate

    Love this. Thanks for posting it.

  • Marlaina

    I stumbled upon a link to your blog, and am so happy that I did. Thank you for posting this. I am one who also battles with weight, self esteem, and confidence. It is uplifting to read such a positive post, and quote. I can't wait to explore your site more, and read more of what you have to say. Thank you! :)

  • Oh are you in Brisbane-town?! That would be ever so delightful, and awkward, but delightful :PP

  • I'm glad you came here! I hope some of my older blog posts can help you if you ever need a bit of bolstering :D

  • Thank you!

  • Jolteon47

    I agree particularly with the part about advertising and I don't buy those cremes, but isn't hesitation necessary for reflection and good decision-making? Or is this additional self-doubting hesitation on top of normal healthy not-rushing-into-things-that-are-ill-advised?

  • Well I live on the Gold Coast now. I travel to Bris to see my boyfriend. I am (quietly) thinking of moving back to Bris though. The touristy part of Surfers can be a bit much sometimes. lol

    and why awkward? lolll what could we do to break the ice? hehe

  • Oh my husband is from Burleigh so we find ourselves down there a bit too! We go to Surfers when we're bored and want to spectate :P

    Don't you find meeting people you know online weird? Maybe I'm just socially inept!!

  • Oh cool! Well maybe we'll just bump into eachother lol
    down at the Surfers souvineer shop lolll

    I have had only two strange-ish internet meet ups and that
    was when I was alot younger and the people I was meeting
    were really extra extra extra extra shy.

    since then i've met a great handful of friends from online.
    a good number of them are my closest.

    i cant imagine us being awkward though ! look at me pressuring you.
    heheh

  • That is so great!

  • This was a very emotional and very interesting post. I know only too well what it is like to feel your self esteem hit the floor. You feel your at the bottom and you will never get back up.Self Esteem Affirmations

  • Amye Gumbinner

    Hi there! I love this, but your FB share link has a virus. Something about online pharmaceuticals comes up when I try to share this post! Good luck