You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans

go girl!!

and BTW, you DO look amazing!

This is a really powerful post, and I hope it gets linked all. over. the place. Visibility is so important.

Good for you, Natalie! Whoever wrote that is an insecure, mean-spirited person. You look great in skinnies! xoxo

http://bonjourgazel.blogspot.com

You are BEAUTIFUL, STYLISH and so incredibly TALENTED… I only wish the person who submitted the photo knew who you were and what you do/stand for. They may just have the same admiration for you that I (and I'm sure so many others) do.

Amazing post. I linked to it here, by the way. Keep on fighting.

Natalie, this post is just, well, fabulous. Thank you.

It's so sad that women feel they need, and are encouraged, to seek validation for themselves by focussing on others. What a crock. We should look within ourselves for our own validation and not rely on what others are – or are not wearing/doing/looking/saying etc.

And shit lady you look smoking in the photo!

You know, I have always been a fan of you, but now, I have fallen in love! Girl, so many people have this image of us that we will sit back, quiet in pergatory for loving our curves… I applaud you for standing up, keeping it classy, and shutting it down.

You rock!

wow, I'm so proud of you. If I'd found out my photo was on a page like that I probably would of either curled up and died or tracked the girl down and cut her. Neither which would accomplish very much. It takes serious grace to act like you did. I would of felt really sorry for myself, your post makes me feel kinda sorry for her though. To have to belittle other people like that, she must be pretty insecure about herself. You are amazing and beautiful. (I was actually thinking how great your hair looks in that picture before I read what your post was about) You look AMAZING in your skinny jeans!!!!
You're my new hero.

Kind of ironic that on google reader I got a little ad as part of this post “Lose Weight Fast Now! Look fabulous & feel great today! It's simple, affordable and magical”.

Oh shit, I thought I'd removed all google ads?! I got so sick of trying to black list all the weight loss ones :(

If figured if you knew it was happening, it wouldn't be there anymore :)

Could you let me know if the ads are still there the next time I post? I think I have removed them, thanks for letting me know about this.

Visibility is so important, and I encourage you to continue being your beautiful self. Over the past year you've contributed to my increased confidence in my size, and I am not ashamed to finally share in gorgeous fashions I would normally shy away from due to criticism.
You are one hell of a woman Natalie Perkins, and a real one at that.

Sure enough, I linked to you. Well said, and better said than I could have!

I'm usually not the type of person to say this, but: you go girl! A major internet high five for rising up against immaturity and hate.

I saw that group recently because one of my Facebook friends became a part of that group. I'm still wondering if I should remove her or not. As a fat woman who wears leggings, I'm not sure what message I should take away from that.

http://bargainfatshionista.blogspot.com

Still getting ads from Google when I load your blog in reader, but the change might take a while to filter through I guess.

Way to go! I'm glad you don't let them bring you down. We can wear (and not wear) anything we want. Clothes were made to dress people, not the other way around.

YES. We must be visible. We can't back down just because the world says we need to be sheepish and hide away in our little fatty hideyhole.

You rock. You handled the situation with grace and maturity. Madam, I salute you.

Thank you for being visible. I can imagine that it's not always easy because people like this try to bully you out of wearing/doing/saying things that are true to yourself.

I looked at that Facebook group. Nearly all the pictures were of size 14 and under girls (many of them were size 0-4, which I know because they posted their size) looking for approval on whether or not they were skinny enough for skinny jeans. This just made me sad. It's hard to be angry at girls who are so unsure of themselves. I really feel like your message to the person who posted your photo was completely appropriate given the circumstances. Thank you for being so awesome.

Well said. I'm posting this on my facebook page – Sharnanigans. Spread the positive vibe some more x

Awesome. People can be arseholes. Not all, but a fair few. Hey, we've all had a crack at being a bastard to someone, at some point in time, but at what point do you grow up and realise that life doesn't revolve around how skinny or fat or botoxed or someone is. When they get a life, that's when :) Great response.

<3

You go girl, keep struttin' your stuff and living life to the fullest :) Proud of ya.

you do look amazing :) i wish i were at a stage where I could be confident enough not to be severely rocked by a comment/action like this. you're an inspiration

You look amazing, and you are amazing. Nuff said. xx

Wow, an amazing post, it really shows how far you have come to look from this kind of perspective on the situation. I don't know if I would be able to react like this but I think its the best way you did.
I think everyone of us knows this comments about being to fat to wear this and that and you are right, you could have reacted aggressive on it and call her a skinny bitch which an intolerant mind, but it wouldn't make anything better, it would just go on and go. And I think if we react like the “haters” don't expect us to, it is the best way to show that we don't care about what they say and that we are open to everyone no meter if they are size zero or size 30!

Thank you so much for posting this, after the day I have had today I really needed to read something strong and wonderful like this.

You're one of my favourite people in the world and I don't even know you. And I might have to hi-jack the phrase “metric buttload”. Keep on keeping on, beautiful.

Yes Yes Yesssssss! You are amazing Natalie, and such an inspiration! <3

Hey, I'm a guy in his early twenties, I don't usually go on these sorts of sites but I saw your message and I felt compelled to voice my opinion on the subject.
I just wanted you to know I think you have great legs and it's fantastic to see you showing them off in a nice pair a skinnys :-)
I can't understand why some people are so bothered by curves, there's nothing sexy about some scrawny girl that looks like she'd snap in half the second you hug her. Real women have curves and I love to see girls like yourself who are proud of theirs.
It's great to see so many female readers supporting you, but I just wanted to let you know it's not just them who feel so strongly about this subject. I see so much hatred going on towards curvy women but most of the time it's just jealousy from other ladies who have nothing to display.
Real women have curves. Your doing a fantastic job at raising awareness and helping other women who have to deal with the same crap from ignorant bigots such as this ridiculous group you mentioned.
But anyway I'm repeating myself now.
No matter how you look, how you dress or what you do, people will always have a problem with you for some reason or another. Keep doing what your doing and be proud of who you are. Your a beautiful and confident woman and you should be proud.
Best Wishes :-)

Actually, Matt, “real women” have curves, and some do not. They are all real women, and they are all beautiful. I think you are missing the point of this entirely. It's great that you're being supportive of Natalie, but dragging down “scrawny” women doesn't need to be part of the deal.

I love you! I keep hearing people say that bigger girls shouldn't wear skinny jeans, but I bought a pair a few weeks ago and I have gotten so many compliments! I feel really cute in them, actually. It's done wonders for my self esteem.
I also LOVE to wear horizontal stripes, which is another one of those things “we” shouldn't wear. Honestly, that only makes me wanna wear them more ;)

Someone linked to this post from Jezebel, and I am so grateful that they did. You are a beautiful woman sharing a beautiful sentiment. Also, I am currently rocking leggings. ::insert raised solidarity fist here::

i remember this one time photos of me a loooong time ago surfaced on this awful waste of internet space called “freak safari.” at first i was kind of hurt, of course, but then i took the time to look at how STUPID the insults and comments made about me were, ie things like i “breathe more air than a skinny person”. i couldn't let them win because the comments were lazy, misinformed and just downright ridiculous. i totally loved when you said “I know for a FACT, despite the protestations in this particular facebook group, that seeing a fat person in leggings or skinny jeans will not cause injury. I’ve read quite a few comments from members who seem personally insulted when they see someone wearing something they don’t agree with. This is hyperbole. This is like when Mr. Burns (from the Simpsons) puts his arms in the air and flails them about. I like to imagine these people doing the Mr. Burns flail. It’s that comical to me,” because it really is THAT stupid. it's a great way of looking at a potentially damaging situation.

also, you do look amazing in that photo.

You're amazing. This–this post, is SO amazing, and thank you.

omg Natalie.
i actually prefer bigger girls in skinny jeans / leggings.
the shapes and curves are the best!

just a few points :
- hate anything to do with immature / size-ist etc people. It's very strange that sort of shit exists. it really blows my mind how that exists
- love my bigger girls. everytime. and you and me both know there are lots of people worldwide who much prefer girls with bigger shapes.
- you're beautiful! and so super strong for dealing w/ this attack on you and other girls who've been singled out. its really inspiring.
- The people who run anything to do with anti-acceptance movements have to be the most unhappy, unfulfilled pieces of shit in the whole world.

It makes me really sad.

I'm so proud of all these great comments and contributions to your post. Makes me feel so good to know there is a strong opposition.

[...] This awful thing happened this week – Natalie (of Definatalie)’s photo was usurped by a FB group entitled, “There’s a weight limit on leggings & skinny jeans” as an example of who should not be wearing said clothing items. Really, I found this unacceptable, mean spirited, and unfortunate – but, out of that terrible experience, she wrote a wonderful post. Head on over to read, You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans. [...]

Natalie, you put it so well, I really commend you. I have completely had a life-turnaround in the past couple of months, and has made me step out of general society's expections and other's expectations and I've started doing things that feel right for me. It is so good that you do the same. And replying with grace and love (in a way) is such a stronger response than being angry.

I'm not going to be like everyone else to comment on how you look in that photo, because physical appearances have no effect on me whatsoever, so I think it's irrellevant. What matters to me is that you as a person is absolutely beautiful – you have a wonderful spirit and soul, and I'd say the same to anyone regardless of their physical appearance. :)

Whether you are “stereotypically” beautiful on the outside or not, I couldnt care less. What society percieves as physically beautiful is a superficial and ever-so-chaning thing to chase. One's physical appearance can change in an instant. A person can appear to be what society percieves to be beautiful one day, then be in say, a car accident and that physical beauty changes. Someone can be a size 6 one month, then the next month go up to a size 12. A woman can have what society percieves as “beautiful” thick luscious hair and eyelashes, then after so long of chemo, that “beauty” is gone. Physical “beauty” can come and go so quickly that basing everything on it is like building a house of sand.
What doesnt change regardless physical appearance is who you are as a person, and your spirit and soul you posess. Basing beauty on that seems far more logical.

Good call. It's not about size or what you are wearing as long as you rock it.

Way to go, Natalie!!! I hope that person really took your words to heart. It's easy to “stick it to” somebody when they're mean to you. Continuing to champion our cause and hopefully help a sister out is a brave and beautiful act. You, my sister, rock!

Thank you.

Wonderful post, thank you so much for being awesome and outspoken and positive in the face of pointless mean pettiness! (And extra kudos for making the connection that all this infighting benefits businesses, not people.)

snap

that's all

Thank you so much for that! Although I am not a mean person and am generally for the underdog. I too have been guilty of snide remarks. I am so sorry because it's wrong and it's ugly! I admire your self esteem and thank you for helping me to see my wrongs!

I support naturally made healthy body types. Body abuse is so pre-2010, for any body type whether naturally skinny or naturally fat, or even exercised to get toned. Nobody should abuse themselves and make their body go where it doesn't want to.
So on a lighter note, let me tell you how jealous I am of you in your skinnies. Like really, to me its not how fat or skinny someone has to be, but the actual symmetry of the leg. I don't were them because I have HUGE this but slim calves and I cant wear them without thinking my legs look like chicken drumsticks. But I don't care because I can rock wide legs better than anyone I know. But I'm loving our body acceptance movement, I really do. wow, I just wrote a lot.

[...] You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans. <3 [...]

Magnificently stated girl – thankyou for your authenticity, emotional intelligence and honesty! :)
Jenni Miles

Thank you.

firstly, you look amazing! i can see the hatred to girls who wear leggings or skinny jeans, not because they're “too fat” but they don't know how to wear them properly. you clearly do, you don't deserve to be on such a bullshit website or group. you look fabulous.

This post is just awesome. I've (personally) always been afraid of wearing shorts in public, and even though the rational side of my brain says nobody will care, the irrational part says someone will think something mean about me. Well so what if they do! I ran errands in shorts the other day and nobody said anything.

I say this because the it's personal but it's not personal thing really rings home with me.

that is so strange that they would use your photo especially since you look quite fab in those skinny jeans! good for you for staying at your level and not stooping down to theirs

“Yes” to everything that everyone else has written. This post is sensational AS ARE YOU! To respond to such a shitty thing in such a positive way is commendable as hell. Your site, politics and style is inspirational. Keep it up!

[...] a blog post titled, “You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans” (Jezebel republished the post as well) Natalie responds to the posting of her photo on a Facebook [...]

wow, I love this post. Its my first time on your blog, and I am in awe of the bravery and self-love that has made you respond in such a thoughtful and mature way to these sucky people. You are amazing!

I saw this on Jezebel- and I just wanted to pop over and wish you kudos. You are a complete class act!

i am so in big fat puffy heart love with you that i am doing a cartwheel right now!

*throwing tamponfetti*
*three cheers*

Came via Jezebel, and wanted to say that it is a given, IMHO, that the person that submitted your photograph to this group . . . lives in constant fear that her photograph is going to wind up on a Facebook group called “Get a nosejob already!” or “It's Called Electrolysis, Okay?!” or “Cankles, much?!” And, inevitably “Gosh, you look OLD now!”

The only way out, person, the ONLY way out of this hole, is to take Natalie's advice as given here.

girl, you look good. SERIOUSLY. :)!!!!!

Well, and of course, they violated copyright and FB usage guidelines to use your photo….Honestly, they have to affidavit that they have the right to use the photos when posting to FB, and it sounds like you did not provide that permission.

I saw the republished blog entry on Jezebel, and honestly, you look awesome. I might try on skinny jeans sometime just to see what I look like in them. I didn't think I could wear them because I'm not thin, but you've definitely changed my mind on trying them out.

I hope they respond positively to your message but I fear they probably won't. Maybe someday…

This post is awesome and you look terrific in that photo! It makes me really happy to see a fat woman wearing cute, stylish, proudly form-fitting clothes and not giving a f*ck what other people think of her. Fashion is not just for skinny girls– fashion is a method of self-expression for anyone who wants to make a statement with their outfit. You rock and I'm definitely going to keep reading your blog.

You look great in your skinny jeans. Thank you for writing this post as I was having a “I shouldn't wear skinny jeans cuz I'm fat” day. :-) You rock.

I just discovered your blog and am so glad that I did! Your response to utter nonsense is gracious and inspiring – and I'm telling our readers all about you! Keep on, keeping on lady!!

hi there, first time on this blog via a tweet by Grechen commending you on your post.

I don't think the fat comments really stop when you're below a certain size. I for one, have always been called “fat.” I'm 5'10″ and pant size 4/6. I think that's just the first thing girls call each other (other than slut) when they are jealous and don't know what to do. Anyway, I think you look GORGEOUS because you love yourself and it shines through and also because you ARE gorgeous.

-Diya

Go you! I had a flickr photo of mine posted to a now defunct “wardrobe rejects” tumblr last year, with both style and body/shape negative commentary added, and while at first I wanted to attack the author, in the end I felt similarly to how you do. I kept right on posting my pictures and practically dared the author to keep making fun of me. Keep wearing whatever you want to wear!

This is a fantastic response. I loved reading this. Thanks for posting.

i wish that i loved my body the way you love yours. more than losing those last ten pounds, more than sprouting those long legs and that perfect torso, i would give anything to see myself as beautiful.

yr awesome! and also a total babe.

also: “metric buttload”? that shit made me laugh. !

take care.

I just came across your blog via a tweet, and I fucking love this post. Oh, and you are rocking those skinny jeans!

Could someone who has a facebook make a page called “I LOOK AWESOME IN MY JEANS!” and just copy most of the photos from the hate group and post them on the new page? That would be fantastic. I don't have/like/agree with Facebook or I would so do it.

Hi lady, I came across your post and your blog via Threadbared and I love everything about this post, your response to the facebook group, and I love reading your thoughts on body image, the policing of fashion and who gets to wear what, and especially your thoughts as far as girl on girl hatred. I love that instead of doing the very thing that encourages girl on girl hate (sending a hateful email to the person who posted your image or making personal attacks about girls who are a different body, etc,) you instead acted in a way to promote more open discussion, to promote self empowerment rather than self effacement. I'm so glad that you wrote about your right to visibility. I'm deeply moved.

Visiting via Threadbared, and just wanted to tell you I admire the wisdom & grace & confidence with which you handled a situation that would've pretty much left me catatonic. Thanks for being awesome :)

If only there was more intelligent thought like this out in the world! This was a fabulous post (which I found via Jezebel) and I want to congratulate you on it and being such a great role model for girls in general. It is rare that women get to see someone (or read, as the case may be) with such a love for themselves. It is definitely something that we need more of.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Those nasty little hobgoblin types, hanging around the sidelines like Waldorf and Statler, wish that they had half of your confidence and dignity.

Hell yes. There is a great benefit when you stop judging others' bodies: you can love your own! And you're right, there's always shit to judge, but never any point. Thank you for this.

I love this entry and your response is perfection. So glad I found this blog! You are beautiful and look fantastic in your jeans. Your positivity toward someone so cruel is inspiring.

Tell it, sister.

I am all for rejecting those flimsy social constructs that keep us down. I love that you wrote this not in a whiny, self-deprecatory, pseudo-honest voice, but from a place of deep confidence and truth.

Keep up the great work.

I had a friend in high school whose face was not “pretty” by “conventional standards,” but she had the most wonderful charisma. Everyone liked her and wanted to be with her. Why? Because she loved herself and others saw that. It couldn't help but shine through. She used to joke that all she needed was a lipstick and a can of hairspray (it was the 60's, ok?) and she could turn any guy's head. Which she did.
She has long since gone from my life, but I always will remember her for the light that shone as a result of genuinely loving herself just as she was. What an example to us all who struggle, are are you, Natalie.

[...] know who’s amazing?  Definatalie. This story has been whizzing around the body-lovin’ blogsphere, and it bears [...]

Good for you! You look fantastic!

[...] Read Natalie’s entire post and her response to the hatred bullies on her blog here [...]

I just wanted to say that I adore you and I plan on sharing this. <3

you are the smartest.

know how you dont wanna see a fat dude in a speedo? same reason i dont wanna see you in leggings. sorry. your fat and i would rather not see all the rolls hangin out everywhere

I have two daughters. I wish you lived next door. Good on you, lady.
Top class attitude, and great role modeling.

You're amazing. Keep it up.

I do wanna see that actually. You should just quit hating and MYOB.

My wife had a great shirt that said, “I'm not here to decorate your world.” People who don't like what you look like in skinny jeans can look away. What an irrational, arrogant attitude some people have when they DEMAND that certain groups avoid certain styles so THEIR aesthetic preference aren't impinged upon.

Peace,
Shannon

Hey, thanks for commenting, but
http://www.sadtrombone.com

I'm tired of seeing people celebrating fatness. Being fat is a bad thing that leads to tons of health problems. Much like being too skinny, being too fat is something to be avoided with good dietary habits and exercise.

what an inspiring reaction to such hateful crap. I am spreading your word, because if everyone who was ever targeted this way could see how strong you are, they would be that much more able to find that strength inside themselves! keep on keepin' on sister…

You look great !!!!!! Having a shape is a good thing !!!!!! Keep up standing up for us curvy girls !!!!!! Have a great time !!!!!

Actually, I don't think it's ever even that they don't like how we look in some particular outfit, I think it's their own insecurities about how they think they look in their own clothes that they throw on us.

Thanks lady, it's nice to see things like this.

What does 'fat acceptance' mean? We live in a culture of rapidly rising obesity due to poor diet and lack of exercise, especially amongst kids. Why accept that? I'd rather focus on eating well and exercising well than accepting it.

I would like to point out that you are wearing skinny jeans that fit you properly and look great on you, unlike many who cram themselves in to jeans that are WAY to small. I completely support people wearing whatever they want, but I respect them a lot more if they buy clothes that fit (which end up being more flattering anyway!) rather than bulging out of clothes that are too small, or showing everyone every detail of their butt in too tight leggings. Your jeans make you look confident and self-aware, while many jeans that don't fit and leave bulges in unflattering places just make it appear that the wearer is desperate to be smaller than they are and are lying to themselves about their true size.

Ouh Rah! Go you!

It took me so many years to accept myself, now that I have I feel wondrous and my boyfriend is ecstatic. We should make more people aware that being decorative is just that and that passion doesn't relate to physical form.

I really do admire your bravery. Putting yourself “out there” taking hits for the rest of us who are too tired or fearful to stand up for ourselves. Thank you. A quote I only half remember: “Never imagine that a small group of people can't change the world; indeed, it's the only way it has ever been done”. PS have you ever heard of Shannon Falkner? She too was brave and strong.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Sam. :) I'm naturally frail, so when people say that real women have curves, I find it kind of insulting.

You're not understanding — some people are just going to carry weight — unless they TORTURE THEMSELVES.

The way women can treat each other, it's VERY clear that it's OK to hate you if you're not skinny. It's hell, especially for young girls.

No one should have to live like that.

Yes, it's best to be healthy — but your weight shouldn't have anything to do with your WORTH.

fat

Your logic becomes confused when you claim that “arbitrary standards of beauty” that exclude most of the population benefit the fashion and beauty industries. Actually, the very existence of those mass-produced skin-tight beauties in your size shows very much the opposite – fashion trends that are, let's face it, NOT FLATTERING to most of the human population are actually a big loser to an industry that makes more money via more sales. Just imagine how many unsold pairs were destroyed because not enough big girls bought them. And I'm not blaming them, either. Trends don't suit everyone, bottom line. Not to say you don't look cute, you do, and if you can accept the idea that articles of clothing can be either flattering or not, it rarely flatters a woman to not show her shape no matter what her size. Finally, I just have to say that having an general opinion about what looks good or doesn't on a certain body size or shape is one thing – using a photo of a person without their permission to attempt to bolster the argument is disgusting and inexcusable. And just one more thing – I have to say that I really hate the fact that I just spent the last 5+ minutes responding to this post. I don't want to spend any time thinking about the visuals of your body, my body or anyone else's body, because I truly think the entire concept of “body image” should be a non-issue. Doesn't responding to this sort of critique in any way just sort of fuel the fire of body obsession? It seems to me to be a bit of a “she doth protest too much” situation.

You may be familiar with a book called Women En Large: Images of Fat Nudes. That book came (as big projects do) from many sources, but one of them was the canard common in the science fiction community in the 1970s that “there should be a weight limit for the purchase of leotards.” Plus ca change …

Thanks for being part of the solution.

Absolutely. The only people I've ever heard say “Well you're only fat because you eat poorly and don't exercise” are people who have not only never been fat in their lives, but naturally have the metabolism to maintain their skinniness regardless of what they eat or do.

I was born big and I still am big. I go to the gym for an hour 5 times a week and I eat well. This only works to prevent me from gaining anything more.

Regardless, throwing around the “I can make fun of fat people because there's an obesity epidemic” to try and justify the behaviour is absolutely absurd. Not only is any other adult's weight not any of their business; when it comes to children – making fun of them and what they so visibly represent is reprehensible and ineffective.

Yes, a great deal has to be done about the obesity epidemic. This involves making healthy food as cheap and convenient as fast food; educating children about cooking for themselves to the same degree we teach them algebra; taking subsidies away from the corn industry and generally changing the face of food production.

Making fun of fat people achieves none of these things; it just makes them feel sad.

[...] been thinking about hate and how to respond to it ever since I read Natalie’s blog post, “You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans,” (via this Threadbared post by Minh-ha,) which was a response to the Facebook group “There’s a [...]

AMAZING!!!! Congrats girlie. Being a size 26/28 myself, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my skinny jeans / skinny pants, and even leggins… Love it… And I look FABULOUS in them! Only time people shouldnt wear them, is when its the wrong size and obviously too small, but thats another topic. I want to thank you for this post. I am a new follower :D

Many fat people exercise and eat well. Many skinny people do not exercise or eat well yet people assume they are healthy. This is what fat acceptance is concerned with, amongst other things.
http://www.fatlotofgood.org.au/?p=221

So go find someone back in the stone age that was fat. No one was. There were people with bigger builds, but they were almost always men and they had big muscles, not fat. This crap that 'i was born fat' is just crap. Most likely your parents were bad eaters and passed those habits onto you, even if you swear you eat well.

And yes there should be a fat limit on skinny jeans and leggings. You're not doing yourself any favours by going I DON'T CARE WHAT I LOOK LIKE.

I notice a lot of people saying “how could they post your pic, you look fabulous!” And you do, but even if you looked absolutely horrendous doesn't mean that they had every right to create such a group or that they should republish your photo (or anyone else's) there. Your point still stands, regardless of your personal beauty.

Have the group admins cottoned on to the fame this article's getting?

I suggest you go back and read my comment – there weren't as many fat people in our history because of the reasons I gave. To explain further:

-Government subsidies on corn has caused corn syrup to become a highly fattening but popular ingredient in cheap food. Before this, cheap food usually meant grains and vegetables – not hamburgers and fries.

-Actually there were fat people all throughout our history; they were rich. They could afford meat and lots of it. Now, the norm has switched; skinniness is a sign of affluence and obesity a sign of poverty. This comes down to education, free time and the cheapest food available.

-Yep, my parents did eat poorly and did so all throughout me growing up. They both worked two jobs each and I grew up poor. Because of the lack of time and money in the household, we ate a lot of fast food. When I moved out of home, I lost 30 kilograms – though 7 years later, not much else.

-To do anything more than I'm already doing would eat into my work time and push me closer to poverty.

-None of these are excuses, they're causes. Causes we can actually combat as a society rather than sitting in the comments section of blog entries trying to strip fat people of the little self esteem they have left. Do you know what extremely low self esteem causes? Depression, not motivation. Suicide, not a 2 hour gym session. So just STFU troll.

You go girl…
My mom was always a smaller size when I was growing up.. my biological dad was heavy set, along with his mom, and his sister. So Im not saying I was born heavy, No. When I was younger I was a small child. We werent rich, we werent poor. We were middle class. Sometimes we were upper middle class. But still very much Middle. And we ate Ok. We had nights we would go out. But my mom cooked as much as she could when I was younger- altho it wasnt always healthy. When I was older, and old enough to take care of myself and my little sister after school, she took a job that allowed her to work afternoons/evenings, and have a higher pay.. but that meant most nights I was left to cook. or was left money to buy something. Alot of the times, it was not healthy. I mean come on, who goes out for healthy “fast food”…

Anyways, i want to say that you are right. Our weight has alot to do with money, and what is available…

And again, with back in history, those who were rich were heavy and fat. It was a sign of being rich. And still today in places like Jamaica – they like the big girls. They think your sick if you are too skinny. They love them a thick girl that they can hold on to. They say its a sign of wealth.

And if skinny people don't like fat people, why are they sitting in a comments section of a fat / big person blog? Get a life dude.

And I just want to ad. That I am a big girl today. And 90% of the time, I love my curves. I love myself. There are those times tho – and I am working on it – where I wish I was my weight before I had my son, which was still plus size, just a little smaller. So I am working to try to get down to that size again. However, there are medical conditions that get in the way. PCOS – polycystic ovary syndrome – which actually puts weight on. I was also on Depo (form of birth control – its the shot) which causes weight gain in a small percentage of people. I gained some weight on that. Also, I have asthma, and have had it ever since I was little. Even when I was younger. Plus, sometimes, genetics are the main factor. Sometimes it really is just genes, and sometimes you really are born fat.

Oh wow, i NEED one of those t-shirts!!!!!!!

To be honest, I usually hate the look of skinny jeans and leggings, but I think you totally rock them in your picture! I think it looks better than any skinny girl I've seen in 'em. <3 Win

“Go find someone back in the stone age that was fat. No one was.”

That's hilarious. I'm assuming that you've seen the photographic evidence from the stone age, then? I'm also assuming that you're also schooled in genetics and nutrition as well from your well-reasoned argument.

The grand majority of obese people in this nation are not obese or overweight because of some genetic defect. Only a very small minority have a true medical issue beyond their control.

Most people simply can't stop eating fast food, going to corporate chain restaurants, cooking things that come ready made and just require being popped in the microwave. We eat sweets like crazy. We drink energy drinks, sodas and starbucks like crazy.

The average person in America does very little physical activity. And hell, i'm not talking about a gym routine either. Working a garden would suffice, walking your dog around the neighborhood everyday rather than just letting him/her run outside. A good portion of us are holed up in classrooms and cubicles 40-50 hours a week, we go out to eat, and we go home and plant ourselves in front of the computer, the tv, or a video game.

Reality is reality. America has HORRIBLE dietary choices and horrible lifestyle habits. What people describe as “torture”, just means they have to break their grease, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and excessive carbohydrate addictions and actually eat real whole food, like fruits, lean meats, veggies, and whole grains. It means they have to get off their ass and spend 20 minutes to actually cook themselves a real meal.

It means no KFC Doubledowns, no drunken trips to taco bell at night, no re-charging mid-day stops at Starbucks, no special treat nights at Brusters, no lunch rush through McDonald's, no lazy Velveeta Shells and Cheese dinners, no Hungryman dinners, no Healthy choice dinners, no getting off work and drinking your dinner, it means not waking up and skipping breakfast all together or at best shoving sugar cereal down your throat. Giving up these things is “torture”. I know, I quit them. I quit them all, along with smoking and drinking and drugs all at the same time.

It's not ok to hate or be hateful to anyone. I see no reason in being mean, i see no reason to excuse those who are mean.

But I see no reason to make excuses for unhealthy people either. And i see no reason why class and tact, and asking people to have a little self awareness when it comes to their body type and fashion choices to be considered hateful.

There's a weight limit on certain styles. I don't see as a female-only issue.

I see no need to insult larger people. I also see no reason to make endless excuses for a nation with huge obesity problems either. Fat hate is just as annoying and wrong IMO as fat apologists and fat acceptance

When it comes to clothing decisions and style decisions, whether you follow the crowd or not, there is such a thing as having a little tact in the apparel you wear and how it appropriately fits your body type.

Too often do I go out in public or off to the beach and I come across someone 250lbs+ trying to dress like they're Brad Pitt or Paris Hilton, or whoever. Being big doesn't mean you can't dress nice. It just means certain styles aren't going to work. It'll make you look like a clown if you can't be bothered to have some self awareness, and you are deluding yourself by acting like you are making some political or culture statement by doing otherwise.
it's not about fat hate. It's about having some tact and class.

Legally, sure, anyone should be able to wear what they want. But thinking human beings are simply going to stop judging you based upon appearance is idealistic. Regardless of how right or wrong you might think it is.

If people spent half the time pushing healthy diet and lifestyle changes as they do making excuses for the obese and trying to change the way society operates to make them more comfortable (outside of calming down hateful comments), then I think we'd have a lot healthier society.

The fat apologists and ass kissers of the world are the equal and opposite of a general society that holds up this impossible plastic-surgery/air-brushed Hollywood and/or porn-star standard for everyone, and they are just as wrong and unhealthy for our culture IMHO.

Don't make excuses for people who live unhealthy lifestyles. Don't try to make life and society easier for them. Encourage a healthy lifestyle first and foremost. Not make them comfortable being walking heart attacks.

Don't bash people if they're fat. There is absolutely no need for hatred.

Kicking people while they're down doesn't fix the problem.

Don't hold people to impossible and unnatural standards of so-called Hollywood beauty either.

Good for you for sticking up for yourself Natalie! People who makes comments like that are major ***holes and they should never get you down. You go girl!

Your intelligence and class shine through this post; so glad I stumbled upon it. You are ROCKIN those skinny jeans, girl! Keep up the positivity. You are a wonderful role model and I will certainly keep reading!

WORD. The only point upon which I disagree is “too much perfume,” because that DOES affect other people {like myself} who are allergic. I constantly find myself having to remove myself from places and wait outside for whoever I'm with, even if it's pouring down rain, because someone wanted to dump a bottle of cologne on their heads that morning.

There are a lot of people who carry an extra 10-20+ lbs, eat well, exercise, and take care of themselves. There are also a lot of people who are underweight, never exercise, and eat junk food all day. Health is more important than weight – sometimes we get too caught up on the visibles. If a person is overweight, healthy, happy, and not gaining weight, what's the problem? They are better off than most.

Also, the societal standard for “fat” and the BMI/health standard for fat are different. I'm in the middle of the healthy BMI range but I am chubby or fat by society's standards.

Wow. Y'know, if I live to be a hundred, I don't think I'll know as much as you do.

you must be fat.

I love this! You are my new favorite person. I cannot express how much I love the things you say here, and how much I wish the rest of the world viewed life the same as we do. Much love!

This post is AWESOME. I particularly love your non-confrontational note to the person who posted your picture to that hateful group. You are my new Internet role model.

Hi Natalie, I am a bigger girl to, and after reading your post/blog i have found some comfort in knowing that there is another girl out there who is throwing it into the wind and embracing herself, still being stylish and forward thinking. I just want to thank you for that, it means alot. And, Your reply was perfect, thank you for being such a classy, sophisticated and beautiful young woman.

Love tillie.

I finally got around to reading this article. It's really brilliant and wonderful. I love the email you sent to the person who posted your photo, and I love everything you have to say here. Thanks.

[...] said, I found this chick Natalie’s blog, and she was discussing a Facebook group with the title “There’s a weight limit on [...]

[...] a facebook friend of mine… who has since been de-friended).  Anyway, Natalie wrote an incredible blog post on how she dealt with this situation, and on how she deals with society’s rejection of body [...]

Well..You know, the fat ones survived when there was little food to eat in the stone age (and also any hard times..) They didn´t have to eat so much because they had some fat in their bodies and that fat kept them warm and alive! :D

So shortly: the fatties survived and their tendency to gain weight is transmitted to their offspring.. I really do believe that to some people gaining weight is way more easier than to some (lucky) ones!! It´s in their genes.

BUT: I don´t encourage anyone to settle for being really fat because your health will suffer (diabetes etc). You can always watch your eating and do some exercise. I´m little overweight myself but I eat quite normally and jogg, swim and so on. My health is good and my weight doesn´t stop me from doing anything so I´m happy with who I am. I´m not going to lose weight just because some people doesn´t like chubby girls.

i dunno about stone age, but i do know there were no fat people in Auschwitz… if you eat more then you spend, then you'll get fat, it's simple math… be fat, i don't give a rats ass, but it's your own fault and not something you can't help.

Well, I think you look fabulous. Wish I looked as good in my skinny jeans.

Hey Morgan, I'm pretty sure those who were being persecuted at Auschwitz were being TORTURED and STARVED – they weren't 'thin', they were dying. Are you suggesting that all overweight people should subject themselves to that just so that they can appease you?

Someone (ie: this person above) has obviously never seen any of the classic art works from centuries gone by? So sad that they are just living in the little bubble that society has created for them which says OMG FAT = EXTREME BAD.
Bugger off, seriously. You are only thinking this because you have been programmed to think it. Think a little harder and step outside your box.

People can wear whatever they like, whenever they like.

Natalie you look like a million dollars in this photo! I AM JEALOUS OF YOUR STYLES!

You are so unbelievably awesome. Bravo, bravo, a million times bravo.

I've just discovered your blog via “we are the real deal” and i wanted to say you're an inspiration to all curvylicious women :)
People are just so hateful and stupid at times, i wish i were as brave and courageous as you in times like these
xx

Denigrating a person because they look different is evil.

That said, you should also recognize that “being big” is a choice you make. Right now, there are over a dozen countries in the world plagued by famine. No one there is crying that when they eat a grain of rice, they just balloon up – because it doesnt work that way.

When I see a guy doing a comb-over to 'hide' a bald spot, an elderly lady dressed like a teen pop-star, or someone wearing a mullet, I have to wonder about their level of self-awareness. Same goes for fat people wearing “skinny” clothes.

There's a big spectrum between skeletal to morbidly obese. Like it or not, there are societal standards for appropriate and inappropriate.

So please don't complain that people are being mean to you. Because YOU are putting yourself out there. When you behave like a lightning rod, dont be shocked when you're struck.

You're an inspiration! And simply awesome for taking the high road here. It never ceases to amaze me how some people cover their insecurities by putting others down. Your measured and dignified response is the only way to go!
I am wearing skinny jeans today in your honor!

[...] She found out who submitted her photograph to the group and emailed them. She also wrote a blog post about finding out about the group and her response to the person who submitted the photograph. Here is the link: You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans. [...]

Men face the same trials. I think about 15 to 20 times per day while watching the 4 hours of TV I watch, I see commercials for bowflex or some other weightlifting machine….telling me I can have the body i've always wanted.

As I sit there drinking my soda and eating my chips and salsa, I think to myself, what if I never wanted a 6 pack….what if I like my tummy? I'm not really fat I guess, according to what my friends say. I'm 6'5 and 215lbs. I guess you could say I don't look fat with clothes on, but when I take off my shirt I have a belly. And that's it…the rest of me is skinny (with muscle).

I used to do sit-ups and crunches and everything I could think of to try and get rid of it. But it doesn't work. I just have that belly. I finally gave in about 2 years ago…and now I like it. And any girl that gives me shit about it, well I don't want to know them.

My dad has a belly, I have the EXACT genetic make-up as him…i'm supposed to have it…I like to eat too much different food, I'm a chef…it's in my job description. I'm pretty sure if I quit eating all the food I love, I could achieve the washboard abs and all that…but I don't want to.

Advertising is a bitch.

Everyone knows there is a thing called bowflex….everyone knows you can work out….if you want to waste your time doing that, go ahead. I think I'll keep my body shape and join Brazillian Jujitsu instead. While I'm eating my BLT with extra mayo/cheese and extra bacon….have fun with you protein shake that tastes like CHALK…cause I'll be washing my BLT down with a double thick strawberry shake. SUPER SIZED.

[...] and read “You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans” over at [...]

Your reply was right on, and I think you look cute in those jeans :D

[...] Natalie Perkins is currently experiencing some nasty and horrible trolling on her blog, just for daring to look fabulous in her skinny jeans. But body acceptance goes both ways. It is just as unacceptable to deride skinny women as [...]

Hello Captain Obvious.

I have a huge problem with what you're saying, and your victim blaming. I'm a little horrified that you consider yourself in any position to advise bullied people.

In the words of the internet, FAIL.

[...] Facebook is evil, but Natalie Perkins is courageous. [...]

SERIOUSLY?! How articulate, intelligent, accepting, loving, calm, broad-minded, and non-egotistical can a mortal be? You took a blaring negative, a bully who thought they were getting laughs at your expense, and gave it back to all of us as positive. TWO FOLD. To those of us that don't accept our body's and to those of us that conform and pretend to accept our bodies. (For the record, I work on both weaknesses regularly.) GLAD YOUR ON THIS BIG BALL OF OURS! Hey! Maybe someone will gather all of my posts, comments, blogs and make fun of me for being a big corny dork that shouldnt be allowed to have an internet coneection! How much do you charge as a consultant? ;)

You're gorgeous. I support ANYONE'S right to wear what makes them feel good.

The rest is just noise.

You're gorgeous. I support ANYONE'S right to wear what makes them feel good.

The rest is just noise.

It's too bad that groups like that exist, but you look great in your skinny jeans!

It's too bad that groups like that exist, but you look great in your skinny jeans!

I think you look great. You're happy and stylish.

I do think a lot of it is genetic. I have a friend who is my height, my age (29) and eats whatever she wants. I see her put away twice as much as me, food that is way more fattening, and she never exercises. I'm slim, but not super skinny. I eat well, exercise 4 times a week and have stayed the same weight since I was 20. I'll never be very big, because its not my build. I'll never be super tiny either. My Mum and Grandma have exactly the same build as me. Were/Are the same weight as me. Its purely genetics. I'd have to work super hard every day and have no fun to lose those “last 10lb”. I refuse to kill myself over it! I've seen girls who eat a lot less than me who are a lot bigger than me. Genetics play a big part in our weight/build.

What I'm saying here is we can never discriminate. Its unfair to discriminate over genetics. Its like telling someone they have an ugly nose: they can't help that!! Everything is beautiful in its own way. End of thought.

you're awesome! i like your cute outfit.

You are awesome! This is a great post, and it's totally true – there is no weight limit for any type of clothing. You're only limited by your own self-confidence. Keep on rocking!

Please don't let Facebook come off as a valid outlet for both opinion and class.
Facebook is stupid. I still don't know why I am on it, but those groups are made by people who have too much time on their hands and are virtually disgustingly intelligent. I don't think there is a weight limit to skinny jeans, as long as they are worn right. I'm not plus size, but heavier in the thighs, so I adjust by wearing them with long tops. It's whatever you look good in.
Oh by the way, some of the people who commented on here….WILDLY unintelligent…the stone age? Really? I mean Really?
You should delete those comments so as to save the blogging community from such idiocy.

**disgustingly unintelligent. whoops, not intelligent…..

Right on! I definitely support anyone who wants to wearing skinny jeans (though I personally don't find them flattering on *anyone*). I worked in “special sizes” (petites and plus sizes) for two and a half years at Dillard's so I'm well aware that you can look absolutely drool-worthy at any size.

Actually, those of us with slower metabolism and that store more fat than our thinner fellow humans are more likely to survive evolutionarily. Why? Because we're more likely to survive famine.

I'm sure there were fat people back in the stone age and others that would have been if they'd lived a modern lifestyle and eaten modern food–but everything the cavepeople ate was organic, and they had to move around–a lot–on a regular basis just to survive.

yay! great letter!

*hearty round of applause*

I was bullied as a kid for being too tall and too skinny, and I can only imagine what my fat best friend was going through for being too fat. I don't know what you went through in your life because of your weight. I don't know you. What I do know, is that I think you're amazing for taking that attitude with the person who sent your pictures instead of just being angry and offended and a bitch to her the way most people would be.

I admire your attitude and confidence. If I was Ani Difranco I would be inspired to write a song about it to get the world to hear about it. I'm not Ani, so all I can do is leave you a comment and tell you what I feel. Rock on, girl! Stay you, because I think (from the little I know from this post) that you are an incredible strong woman, at least when it comes to body image and being patient with assholes.

This isn't as important, but while I'm sharing my thoughts – I personally think you look awesome.

I was bullied as a kid for being too tall and too skinny, and I can only imagine what my fat best friend was going through for being too fat. I don't know what you went through in your life because of your weight. I don't know you. What I do know, is that I think you're amazing for taking that attitude with the person who sent your pictures instead of just being angry and offended and a bitch to her the way most people would be.

I admire your attitude and confidence. If I was Ani Difranco I would be inspired to write a song about it to get the world to hear about it. I'm not Ani, so all I can do is leave you a comment and tell you what I feel. Rock on, girl! Stay you, because I think (from the little I know from this post) that you are an incredible strong woman, at least when it comes to body image and being patient with assholes.

This isn't as important, but while I'm sharing my thoughts – I personally think you look awesome.

LOOK, I was born big boned and no amount of weight I lose will change that, so if you don't like it, bite it.

Woman, you are awesome. I have enormous respect for what you wrote and admire the courage it took to do so. Thanks.

I'm appalled that such a group exists. I've never worn skinny jeans because they feel kind of restrictive. But should I choose to do so, I hate to think that I can be subjected to public ridicule and harrassment because I don't fit a mold that the jeans are supposedly for.

It's just so disgustingly ignorant. You can't wear skinny jeans unless you're skinny? Okay then. You can't wear Fubu or cornrows unless you're black. You can't wear overalls unless you live in a rural area. You can't wear pleated skirts unless you go to a Catholic school. Or how about one that was actually a big deal at one time? You can't wear pants unless you're a man.

Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.

I'm glad you handled that horrid insult with grace for two, because I eschew grace when confronted with an ass-hat. Like the one who apparently knows what all people in the stone age looked like. Or the ones that have never seen a painting of Venus, depicted with teensie boobs and a pudgy tummy, because that was the beauty standard. Or especially the one who references persecuted, starved people in death camps during the frickin' Holocaust in a discussion about normal weight.

Being skinny isn't natural for the vast majority of people. Sure, there's the occasional woman who is naturally super-thin. And she looks great that way. But you know what? You can almost look at a woman who's naturally that way and a woman who's not, but has tortured her body to that size, and tell which is which. The naturally skinny girl looks fine. The other girl looks sick.

I'm not saying anyone is naturally obese. But obesity is not just based on whether someone fits a certain size standard; it is a medical condition that can be diagnosed by a doctor. And your doctor should be the ONLY person telling you to lose weight, or gain it.

Before I turn this into a comment to rival the post, I'd just like to point out: a caveman could beat these health-club nuts into the dirt and leave them there. Why? Because their lifestyle called for that kind of musculature, strength, and endurance. And because I doubt the caveman would take kindly to being told he was too pale to wear that loincloth.

NO I didn't “like” I clicked the wrong thing!! Natalie, I love your looks, I could never “like” any of the negative comments…. That being said. I'm “fat”…yes, state the bleeding obvious fool. When people are trying to describe me and opt for, plump, bit larger or even 'bubbly” (cos we ALL know that's a euphemism for FAT…riiight???) , I say, I'm fat, let's not pretend it's not what you are thinking. Let's not pretend I care either. I love me for me, I love you for you and I don't give a good god damn about a person's size. I'm happy in my skin and if you don't like don't look.
I wear skinny all the time and I love it and love it unapologetically.
Magic :-D

While I'm totally on your side about being up in arms about this Facebook group, I do disagree with a number of your points. There is a fine line between being accepting of your body and not caring. I will make fun of you for not being polite or gracious in social situations that asks for certain behavior. Someone opens a door for you? You say thank you. You don't have the latest gossip text/chat session with your girlfriends on your phone while at the movie theater.

While I may have read a bit too much into that portion of your post, I do not think there is any substitute for good manners and politeness. In addition, I will make fun of you for wearing clothes that do not fit. Shirts should meet your jeans, muffin top should not happen, and skirt lengths should be appropriate for the situation. I've never found crop tops attractive (even on thin people) and finding shirts that are long enough are certainly not difficult, especially with the whole tunic trend. I feel that I look better after gaining 20 lbs in college (a lot for me as I have a small frame), not because I was too thin, but because when I was thinner, I was wearing clothing that didn't fit properly.

Call me a byproduct of social conditioning, but how a person dresses themselves and how they carry themselves are how I first judge someone. While I have many friends that don't wear the most flattering clothes or may not always act properly, I recognize that they are still good people. But when I'm in a situation where I don't have time to get to know that person that well, I have to be able to make a judgment quickly. Job interviews are the biggest area where this is the case, even if it is just to flip burgers or something menial like that. Someone that dresses properly and is polite and acts in a professional manner is going to take things more seriously as a whole than the person that doesn't.

In today's consumer society, we simply do not have the time to not judge on appearances. In simpler times you were basically around the same people and knew who they were and what to expect from them. We do not have that luxury anymore. While it's nice and idealistic to not want to follow what we are socially conditioned to believe, it's generally there for a purpose.

(Sorry for the long rant! I had a capstone class to my honors program on consumerism's impact on society and we talked about fashion and body image a lot, so I have a lot of thoughts on it.)

REALLY? Look what you've done Natalie! Do you see what your amazing self confidence has brought out in people? People are fighting about whether cavemen were fat!

I think it's fairly insane that fights are occuring about how one becomes fat (or doesn't) when thats not even the problem. The real issue is we're all judging each other on everything…whether it's eating too much or not eating enough.

WOULD EVERYONE STOP JUDGING EACH OTHER, particularly over stupid bullshit. That's the whole point of Natalie's post.

You look at a person, or read their comments here, whether they are “fat” or “not fat” they are still a human being who came into this world the same way as you and will eventually leave it, just like you.

What that person looks like, isn't going to change this fact. What you choose to wear and how you live, isn't going to change that fact either.

So shut up, and let others be who they want to be before they can't anymore.

p.s. love you Natalie! Be visible!

[...] and you’d have to pay me to get into that nun’s habit. There are those who disagree with me. This girl is proud of her skinny jeans, and good luck to her. It is a personal opinion, and one which I would [...]

I recently saw a similar Facebook group (can't remember whether it was the same one) where body shame was dressed up as fashion advice as you put it, and it bothered me to the point of changing my opinion of the “friend” who joined it. I hate the general idiocy (even displayed by one person here “arguing” with others' positive attitudes)! Anyway, props to your affirmation to never stop being visible. I think it can apply in many ways. I wasted so much trying to avoid harmful attitudes in the world. I think more good would come from being visible. Putting other people down to feel better is a way of wearing a mask, so people who do that aren't truly “visible” either.

“Muffin tops should not happen.” Uhm… some of us can't help but have a muffin top. I wear clothes that fit, I just have a large tummy. So, long live the muffin top, thank you very much. Besides, everyone loves muffins.

Monosyllabic responses… Way to show your intelligence.

I bet this fatty got depressed and ate some cake when she was featured on “There’s a weight limit on leggings & skinny jeans.” xD

Describe your concept of eating well, just because you ate one cheeseburger instead of two doesnt make it healthy. Also going to the gym means nothing unless you acutally push yourself to the breaking point.

How is obesity a sign of poverty? fast food costs 3 times as much as making a lean steak at home with fresh vegetables

Not true, I cant walk down the street only wearing a hat an no pants

LMAO you sound like cartman… keep telling yourself that, fatty

Oh shes visible alright…from outerspace

Fuck, I meant to flag this. Fast food is nowhere near as expensive as steak and fresh veggies–at least not on EARTH.

Besides, most poor neighborhoods–especially inner city ones–don't even have access to fresh produce.

Dear Natalie,

I think there was a difference of regional terms when I first replied to this entry. If by tights you meant leggings, then yes, those can be worn as pants. If by tights you meant opaque pantyhose, then no, absolutely not pants.

:)

What has society come too when looks and size is the be all and end all.

Why should girls (and yes there are a LOT of big guys out there too) defend themselves and their weight…it's absolute rubbish!

When is it OK for people to be so intolerate and racist again overweight people? Who gave them the right, who do they think they are?

What a very sad world we live in…no wonder young girls and boys end up either starving themselves to death or killing themselves.

Grow up people, you should be ASHAMED of yourselves.

Oh BTW Natalie, you look absolutely stunning!

Karma will out. :)
Kudos to you and your positive outlook. I agree that we need to stop the hate and need to start accepting that we are all different and that different is good. Vive le difference!

[...] post won’t be for everyone, nor will my call for action. However, after reading about Definatalie’s experience on Facebook with a bigoted group of assholes titled, “There’s a weight limit on [...]

I want one too and I'm a dude (I am thinking I need to say that for some reason)

I have just started all of those Facebook groups :)

[...] You Can’t Bully Me Out of My Skinny Jeans, and Tights are [...]

I think you are an amazing woman :)

I am a size 12, but I am looking fatter than I ever have before, but I don't care, I still wear bikinis and leggings and skinny jeans and shorts :) I don't care about the people who insult me, they arent worth thinking about.

I respect you a great deal, and I think you are BEAUTIFUL. I think you look fabulous in that outfit, and I swear to you, thats from the heart.

Much love! Beckie, 14, London xoxox

[...] Trans chicks and fat chicks and butch chicks probably all have a lot more to say about this than I do, as a matter of fact, I thought! And some of them already DO, on the INTERNET. [...]

Good On You You Should Wear Baggy Clothes If You Feel Good In Tight Trousers Go For It :) x

Im a bit plump because i eat way to much for the lvl of exercise i get duh i feel the effects on my health if im honest as i used to be fairly fit i say if someone is fat and there happy who cares obv. no need to point out u feel they look stupid thats all realative anyway. unfortunately in the respect of image the realitive fails as every bugger watches faaar to much tv and reads far to many tripe magasines and shizzle so lets all just mind our own business ha.

Hi just wanted to let you know I wrote a piece today about women judging other women, one of the commenters quoted you – so I thought the piece may be of interest to you :-)

oh, here is the link http://www.sharnanigans.com/2010/05/blogging-wi…

I just found this quoted in a comment on someone elses blog… woah!… good on you!

[...] Facebook group in order to shame and ridicule her. Natalie took it in her stride beautifully (read her graceful response to the Facebook group and the experience here), I’m happy to say. But me? It made me a little [...]

You rock.

This is SOOO TRUE! I have a degree in public health. One of the courses in my program involved going out into the community (urban) and looking for grocery stores. There weren't any. The closest thing were 7-11s, which are like glorified gas stations. How are people supposed to eat balanced meals if there isn't reasonable access to fresh food? Our school started a farmers market that accepted food stamps. It was hugely popular! It just goes to show that people WANT to eat good food and if given the opportunity they will usually make that choice.

But why people are overweight in America isn't the point of this post anyway. The point is that we need to quit judging each other. Whether someone is overweight because she was born that way or someone is overweight because she chooses to be or someone is overweight for whatEVER reason, that doesn't matter. We need to spend our time lifting each other up instead of tearing each other down.

Natalie, you are one very classy lady.

You DO look amazing! <3 <3

You are awesome. That is all!

You mean like the Venus of Willendorf? Nope…no one in the stone age had ever seen a fat body.

I am awed and impressed by your ability to respond to mockery and bullying with grace and class. You rock. Good for you for wearing what you like (and those shoes are really cute!!)

Hi, Natalie.
I just read your blog via Big Fat Deal and want to congratulate you on your super-classy approach to the haters.

im pretty sure the popele who lasted in auschwitz WERE the fatties…the skinnes died in route…or through the conditions at the camp. The only ones who WERE left were the ones with “thrifty” genes (aka fatties in this day and age of plenty)

The fatties were sent to the gas chambers first. The able-bodied and healthy were kept alive so the Nazis could use them as workers in the camps. I'm not saying most of them didn't die eventually from starvation, I'm just telling you your statement was wrong.

Your bones are not any bigger than anyone else's. Stop making excuses.

All the fatties are so pleased that you're standing up to the skinnies. You sure showed them with your reduced life expectancy and increased likelihood for heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and osteoarthritis.

All of this argument about whether people are fat or skinny throughout history completely misses the point. The point is: who cares whether other people are fat or skinny? It doesn't actually affect you if you aren't satisfied with what other people look like. If you're so worried about what other people look like, then perhaps you need a hobby to occupy all of this free time.

So go find someone who actually lives in the stone age. *Bing*! *Lightbulb*! We're not in the stone age any more! Our eating patterns, our walking/ sitting/sleeping/EVERYTHING patterns are different.

You know, you wouldn't actually have to explain this to most people. I blame that evPsych stuff.

So we are taking Auschwitz and the condition of the inmates there as an ideal, now? The world has really gone mad.
You're one of the sane ones, Natalie.

[...] time I can flip situations around, and sometimes come out of it with that golden Teaching Moment. I did it once and blogged my success, but tonight I have come to blog my failure. And I’m ok with it. One of the things I have [...]

[...] am a lady who loves tights. Several of my recent (and most popular) posts are about tights. Or leggings. By now you might have noticed that I use those words interchangeably but yep, I mean the stretchy [...]

You look great! :)

“The way women can treat each other, it's VERY clear that it's OK to hate you if you're not skinny. It's hell, especially for young girls.”

Not always true.. I'm really thin, was born this way and no matter what i eat it's extremely hard to gain weight. I used to get picked on and called anorexic by a bunch of people, even one of my teachers. I think what's wrong with society is that you can't be too thin or fat or you get hated on.. =(

Sashy honestly what is your problem? I get it. I think we all do that your entitled to your own opinions but what others choose to wear has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. So what if fat girls think highly of themselves. Someone has to. Are we supposed to hate ourselves on the basis that pathetic people like you actually exist? Since when was it ok to make others feel not good enough. We live in a country to do as we please. If you don't like it, you can leave thanks :)

What is Breitling? Do you know Breitling Watches? Buy these Breitling Watches sale on line.More cheap Breitling Watches for sale! Breitling replica Watches looklike a wonder.
Please dicount Breitling Watches for yourself. Breitling Watch is your best friend. Breitling Watch sale well.Looking these cheap Breitling Watch online. Because Breitling replica Watch is a wonder! So do please dicount Breitling Watch for youselves!!!

[...] came across a blog post (via Jezebel) that this Natalie chick wrote about how one of her photos was submitted to a Facebook [...]

I'm late in replying, but this post is fabulous.

[...] her beauty. But the rest of us? Must never be seen. Certainly if we dare to go out in public, we must never wear that which is deemed unsuitable for our status as hideously unattractive, lest we permanently shrivel the phalluses of any men casting their eye our way, or cause the [...]

well, i think your ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!
http://www.facebook.com/?ref=home#!/group.php?g…
the group that will hopefully link!, loves you and supports you!

Natalie, I'm sorry intolerant and immature and unthinking people treated you badly. It's like the Peter Pan syndrome, but for cruelty. I'm glad you have a positive attitude, and am heartened you didn't stoop to the level of the person who abused your pic. Well good luck.

Handled like a pro. Well done you!

[...] many of you know, I began targeting Facebook fat hate groups after Definatalie related her experience being targeted by one particular group: There’s a weight limit on leggings & skinny [...]

Wow! I love your response. You make really great points here and you made them in an educated and graceful manner. I love how you ended your response to that girl on fb, “For sisterhood, for solidairty, I wanted to reach out to you.” That is so beautiful. Because, really, we SHOULD be reaching out to our sisters everywhere in solidarity and support. We SHOULD be erasing those imaginary lines that divide us.

I think it's awesome that you are talking about these issues. Especially during times when the media is bombarding us with beauty ideals. And even if people are skinny, it's never enough. People are never good enough for society demands of us. So, whoever you are, whatever your weight is, these issues affect us all. So, Natalie, thanks for your work! xx…

P.S. For what it's worth, I think you look great in skinny jeans.

hey! you can't park your van there!.. oh that's not a van its a fat kid! a fatty fat fat kid.

Tiffany not only explored the various jewelry processes of the time,Silver Tiffany but also branched out into new metals, such as platinum, Tiffany Jewelrywhich at the time was considered very hard to manipulate.Tiffany BraceletsIt seems to be the case that unusual colorations appealed to Tiffany, like the opal.Tiffany EarringsHe also preferred gemstones that were either opaque or translucent. Turquoise, jade,Tiffany Necklaces carnelian, lapis, moonstones, and opals were all chosen for their ability to filter light. Emphasis based on color was very prevalent in his works.

I think it's fair to say our world economy has caught somewhat of a Virus. In true F&J style, here's a brief description of the many forms of economic viruses

affecting the markets…Tiffany Pendants and while you're at it why don't you make

up your own virus in the comments section.We really should do more of these, while some of our jokes are meant for a more “adult”
Tiffany Rings crowd (still safe for work and not vulgar or anything) – we'd like to

post some jokes catered more towards are younger readers.Tiffany Cuff Links

Specifically, short and simple jokes that kids can remember and tell their friends for a quick laugh.A commercial airplane is in flight to Chicago,
Tiffany Bangles when a blonde woman sitting in economy gets up and moves to an open

seat in the first class section..Tiffany AccessoriesYesterday I was

buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for Roscoe, our hunting dog,

[...] curvy girls in skinny jeans are awesome! So are curvy girls in bootlegged jeans, or sweatpants, or mini skirts;  so are skinny girls in skinny jeans, or mini skirts, or bootlegged pants, or whatever; so are fat girls in skinny jeans and sweatpants, and mini skirts and… you get the point, I like it when people express their style! :) This search reminded me to find and reread this awesome post from Definatalie. [...]

One summer afternoon, Former President Bill Clinton and his wife Hillary were vacationing in their home state of Arkansas. Jimmy Choo handbags After a long road trip, they stopped at a service station to fill up their car with gas.A blind man, with a seeing eye dog at his side, walks into his local grocery store.Miumiu handbags He walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.Mulberry handbagsAn ambitious young blonde woman, in need of money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type. She began, door to door, canvassing a wealthy neighborhood for work. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

Just reading this for the first time and I agree whole heartedly with you! Wear what ever you want and ignore the haters! I think you are adorable!

[...] Perkins wrote You Can’t Bully Me Out of My Skinny Jeans – an excellent article dealing with a similar issue of fashion criticism based on weight.  I [...]

Yay for standing up for yourself in a polite way!

And those skinny jeans do indeed look amazing on you! Also I'm loving the shoes :)

It drives me absolutely batshit when people equate fat with unhealthy and skinny with healthy. I'm skinny because I'm predisposed towards being skinny. No matter what I do and what I eat, I don't gain weight. I admit, I'm not as healthy as I should be; I don't exercise much and I don't eat that well, yet I BARELY WEIGH 100 LBS because that's just how my body works. Most of those health problems that too many people associate with obesity? Yeah, I'm at a MUCH higher risk for those than my 280-pounds friend who works out, eats healthy, and is just naturally a big person.

Fat isn't in and of itself unhealthy. It is, in some situations, a SYMPTOM of unhealthy habits or conditions, but just as often it's not. And even if they are fucking over their own health, how does that give anyone else the right to be assholes to them?

It's baseless, cruel, childish judgment, and nothing more. The sooner the haters stop justifying it, the sooner we can make them realize how amazingly fucked up their words and actions are.

[...] have wanted to talk about the notion of the flattering outfit for a while now, because my Skinny Jeans post seemed to bring up a lot of discussion on the topic. For a lot of people, rejecting the haters and [...]

[...] Överhuvudtaget så är det inlägget väldigt bra, jag rekommenderar att du läser det. Det heter You can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans, vilket egentligen säger [...]

How sad to think people are proud of being obese. Nothing tastes as good as self discipline and health. There are no shortcuts to feeling better about yourself. Rant and rave all you want about how great you feel being fat but we all know the truth. Stop worrying about all the fashion mags and focus on getting healthy. You know you want to.

While I agree that people can be very cruel towards obese people, lets get the facts straight here. Obesity is unhealthy and that is a scientific fact. Unless you have Prader-Willi, Cushing's or Polycystic ovary syndrome you are consuming more calories then your body can burn off and that makes you fat. Obesity leads to many health complications. Educate yourself.

test comment #giannii

[...] pictures used without their permission in Facebook fat hate groups. Bloggers such as Fat Nurse, Definatalie, and Pretty in Plus all write of experiences with [...]

woa. can I just say I LOVE YOU?! hehehe, perhaps not literally, but I really do think we need more people like you in this world, and that I already look up to you. I've struggled with weight issues my whole life, even though I know I'm normal sized (somewhere deep in my head, I know it..). I always hated the whole 'body flattering' thing about clothes, just like you. Why not just wear what you think is comfy/pretty/cool…? I think a big smile on your face is body flattering.

I just can't understand why some people think they be so… 'weightist'. All women are beautiful. Especially when we show off the curves we have ;-D

//Annie

Body or fat acceptance means loving yourself AS YOU ARE. Being obese is not necessarily because you don't exercise and eat right. I am a big girl and am riding my bike in a 50 mile bike ride tomorrow. And guess what? I'm wearing lycra bike shorts while I do it! Beauty and fitness come in all shapes and sizes, dude.

Just so you know . . . You look fabulous in those skinny jeans! And just so you know . . . “fat” people aren't the only ones who get flack for how they dress. I'm not fat, but I'm “old” at fifty-three. Funny, I don't feel old. It's also insulting to be treated as though I'm no different than an eighty-year-old when I'm nearly thirty years from that! Sorry – but I'm not going to wear baggy t-shirts and pants with embroidered birds, hearts and flowers. I like my skinny jeans and I look good in them because I'm tall and long-legged. I also like a lot of other fashions that I'm not “supposed” to be wearing. Not that I'm trying to look twenty-three. I just dress for what I think looks best for my figure type.

While I just commented on your fat acceptance post and differed with your perspective there, I think that regarding clothing you are entirely right. People should be able to wear what they want without shame and without fear of insults from mean or small-minded people. cheers.

Girl, you look great! Feeling good and comfortable with yourself in what you're wearing always looks better than dressing self-consciously because you're worried about your body and whether your clothes flatter you body type. I work in bridal retail and let me tell you, when a woman puts on a dress that makes her feel like herself and not like a caricature of a bride, then she's confident, she smiles and walks tall because she feels fantastic and THAT looks better than if she wears something that some people say would be better for her shape, her coloring, her age, her virginity status, her sexual preference, her choice not to shave her underarms, etc. No one should have to worry so much about being judged when they get married, let alone every single day when they wake up and get dressed to go about their business.

Maybe people will think you are a bitch because you say really horrible, mean and unintelligent things that infer being a bitch. Not girl on girl hate, just the way you come across.

Can you please specify these “horrible, mean and unintelligent things” for me? I'm open to discussing offense, but when you insult me without detail I've got nothing to go on.

I remember when I was in London for my 30th birthday and I was stopped by a tall, thin, uber-fashionable chick (she turned out to be a fashion stylist) who said, “I just wanted to tell you how fabulous you look. I saw you on the bus and was so impressed with how you were owning your look”. I was a size 18-20 and wearing a strapless top with jeans and a slinky, shimmering cardi.
It wasn't especially tight or revealing but it wasn't really something someone my size *should* be wearing.
It was nice to get a compliment that wasn't size related, like…”That's a really flattering top”. Which translated means, “You don't like quite as fat in that”. Gee, thanks.

Well, with this logic, I don't have to worry about so many of life's problems. I mean, people are just GOING to hate gay people, so I might as well hate them too. And human trafficking, well, that's just gonna happen and there's nothing I can do about. People are just going to jump off the Brooklyn bridge so, we all might as well do it too.

Me, I prefer to be a trend-setter. And the trend I like to set is NOT judging people on superficial things like the color of their skin or their size. I mean, it's kind of revolutionary. Me and my many muffin tops (which by the way, I have while NAKED) do manage to be polite, professional, well put-together and FAT, all at the same time. Amazing!

And what's even more incredible is that I've discovered that I don't have to work for people who have a problem with that. I don't have to partner with or marry people who have a problem with that and I certainly don't have to be friends with people who have a problem with that. Yet, I still have a great job, an amazing spouse and a ton of wonderful non-judgmental friends.

So if I can totally avoid a world of superficial judgment, I have a problem understanding why anyone would want to seek it out or perpetuate it.

I'd like to have some of these “things” pointed out too. I think she says insightful, empowering, smart things. But I'm open to discovering it's all a sham if you've got some evidence.

I am loving your words right now. You are so eloquent, fiery and fun to read! “I reject being ladylike. These standards are not nobel things to uphold – they trap us, and constrict us. They push us into target markets so we can be sold things more easily. ” I will have to remember that line… so frickin true!

you are WONDERFUL. this post made my evening much better.

Need some cream for that butthurt?

hey! i think that side bangs would looks really good on you! your definately gorgeous, dont let people get you down!

You're gorgeous Natalie! Beautiful inside and out. If the world had more people who loved themselves like you do, it would be a much more pleasant place to live in. Unfortuantely we live in an ugly world, but humanity makes it this way. We are so focused on how others view us, we forget to accept ourselves and love ourselves.

I am profusely offended by fat people. That makes me a minority, since I am the only one I know, and being a minority means I am a victim, and being a victim..let's see…oh yes, the goverment sure owes me MONEY! Get it?

i think she looks AWESOME in that whole outfit. You know it doesnt matter how you look on the outside it matters what’s on the inside. She is pretty and she CAN wear skinny jeans. She looks BEAUTIFUL in them(:

After spending the last week agonizing about the 15 pounds I gained this year (largely attributed to stress due to my first year as a New York City public school teacher) I came across your page. With some consideration I realized that I do not, in fact, feel uncomfortable in my skin or feel that I look bad at my current weight. Rather, my self criticism stemmed so largely from imposed societal constructs and the idea that a size 4 is thin but a size 8 is “plus size” according to Marie Claire (ridiculous). I commend your vision and appreciate your confidence and wish that more women were focused on taking care of the bodies they were given rather than mutilating ourselves to fit unrealistic standards.

After spending the last week agonizing about the 15 pounds I gained this year (largely attributed to stress due to my first year as a New York City public school teacher) I came across your page. With some consideration I realized that I do not, in fact, feel uncomfortable in my skin or feel that I look bad at my current weight. Rather, my self criticism stemmed so largely from imposed societal constructs and the idea that a size 4 is thin but a size 8 is “plus size” according to Marie Claire (ridiculous). I commend your vision and appreciate your confidence and wish that more women were focused on taking care of the bodies they were given rather than mutilating ourselves to fit unrealistic standards.

[...] the possibility of someone finding my blog and using my photos inappropriately (like what happened here… I don’t think I could respond to this situation as eloquently and awesomely as Natalie [...]

Thank you for your blog, and for wearing ‘skinny’ jeans no matter what. I’m rocking mine today in solidarity. You’re wonderful, and your blog is awesome. xoxo -Ruby V.

You go girl…I love your outfit…i wish i had the confidence you do to wear that stuff…at my school you have to be skinny to dress nice and i hate it:/ I think i am gonna wear something nice Tomorrow just to prove to the girls at my school that being fat can have its Benifits:)

oh hush. here this guy is going out on a limb and saying “hey. you know what? screw the stereotypical hatred of curvy women” and he’s getting bashed. my god you can say just about anything and SOMEONE will find it offensive, won’t they.

[...] om man stänger av den. Yes, seriously. Men om du vill läsa mer, gå till Definatalie och läs You can’t shame me out of my skinny jeans eller Tights are tights. Eller båda [...]

get it, girl.
<3

For what it’s worth, I think you do, indeed, look amazing.

Thanks Natalie, I completely agree with everything you’ve said. I do not follow fashion trends because they, just like body image, are a money making sham. taste, style, the perfect body image are constructed ideals. yes they are arbitrary! even though i believed this i still laughed (in my own head) at large people wearing leggings. I feel so guilty for this, now I can’t believe i did it. thank you for the shake up!

I just randomly stumbled on this post and haven’t read anything else yet, but YOU ARE MY HERO!! You’re beautiful and I love that you wrote this. Keep on rocking those skinny jeans, you look fab.

Something else that bothers me about bigoted individuals is that they don’t think about other causes to obesity other than that the person must eat too much and exercise too little. So, tell me, all of you who are so incredibly smart, exactly why is that? Why does someone eat too much and exercise too little, if that is indeed the only reason that someone could be heavy. You know, I’d have to say that yes, I do fall into that category. I do eat too much (of the wrong thing, not in general for the most part) and exercise too little. I have problem ankles which have always made it hard for me to exercise, even when I was slender. Food became an escape for me, however, when sexual abuse caused me to experience shame for my body. Being slender and attractive meant bad things happened. So I did what I had to do. I gained weight and stopped taking care of myself, because that was how you stopped the bad stuff. In 8th grade, I was put on a diet at the insistence of my mother and I lost. Then I was sexually harrassed by several of the boys in my school. I had been taught not to speak up, not to protest, so I was an easy target. That summer, I put on 35 pounds. Any time I started to lose weight and got any kind of “compliment”, I would immediately gain again. And every time I lost, I attracted bad stuff to me. I didn’t realize that the conditioning I’d received as a child just seemed to get the baddies to gravitate to me. Now, at 35, I’m healed. It took me years to get here. I’m still heavy. But now, bad, easy foods (normally fast food) are an addictive habit. I’m slowly changing, cutting out unhealthy foods and substituting healthy foods, and I’m trying not to obsess over my weight. I’m trying to shut out the world’s view of me and only listen to God’s love for me. I always thought if I lost weight, I would never know if the guy I attracted liked me for me or for my body. I never thought I’d meet someone while I was heavy. But I did. He’s amazingly wonderful. He accepts me for me. He thinks I’m beautiful just as I am. He’s a youth pastor, and he just radiates God’s love. It’s unconditional. We are both trying to get healthy, because we want to be around for a long time, and my weight and the stress I carried for so many years have caused health issues, but I can’t believe how blessed I am. God is so good! Praise the Lord! Now, to get on with my further points: metabolism issues, diseases, circumstance, abuse, genetics, etc. There are so many things that can cause a person to be overweight or even to just be more prone to being overweight than others. So choose your words wisely. Be more open-minded. And then speak, because you may regret your words, especially if they only help cause a girl who has been told her entire life that she’s worthless by men to feel even worse. Maybe try being a light in someone’s life, rather than a darkness, a poison. And when the time comes for your words to be judged, you can hold your head up proudly and not hide YOUR head in shame.

Amazing. <3 Absolutely AMAZING!!! <3

you are one in a very VERYYYYY few group of people who are naturally fat. dont act like most fat people are naturally so; the percentage of them is ridiculously outweighed by the unnaturally fat ones.

it also makes skinny people feel bad when most of them are natural but do I hear anyone but them complain? No.

No, actually, in the United States of America, it’s an unholy sin to do so much as call a fat women fat, but it’s quite encouraged to tease, belittle, and all-out attack slimmer women, even guys! The double standards are truly sickening.
and please, very VERY few fat people are naturally fat. don’t give me that “oh they can only be thin if they starve themselves” bullcrap. it’s called healthy eating and an active lifestyle. it’s hard but not impossible and it’s worth it.

I know the media has brainwashed you intot hinking excess fat is beautiful and healthy, but sorry- IT ISN’T. Obesity is unhealthy and fat rolls that got there by not having an active lifestyle consistently and healthy eating are not attractive, they’re YOUR fault and no one else.s

and yes technically they can wear whatever- but some of us prefer modesty, class, and to dress as though we love and respect out bodies.

GTFO my blog, you hold some really toxic thoughts that need to be challenged but I am not going to babysit you. Go educate yourself.

But that’s exactly what’s being said here. Of course there’s no such thing as ‘naturally fat’ – though there are those who are naturally predisposed to weight gain much more than others. You’ll find those people are often also naturally predisposed to have much more difficulty than others when it comes to losing that weight.

Sometimes ‘healthy eating and an active lifestyle’ to the point of losing enough weight is impossible without putting your life on hold for a 6 months and having 2-3 hour daily gym sessions with expensive nutritionists.

Also how is it relevant that slimmer people also get attacked? Does that mean it’s justifiable to attack people who are overweight? No. Does it mean people are arseholes? Yes. Move on.

i am trying to learn to not give a shit what people think of me anymore.. and despite being on the more petite side.. this post definitley helped. i am only 16 and have spent the past 5 years of my life in a all girls school. i blame it for much of self-conciousness because there is nothing worse than walking into school everyday knowing that everyone is judging you, noticing every little change you make. and now im trying to overcome it… but i think the key step in not giving a shit about what people think of you is to not pass judgement on other people.

Just found this post via Ravelry, and just wanted to say how awesome and beautiful you are. Thanks for having the courage, and classiness to make that poster think, and many others.

CHEERS!!!! Marissa

im about the same size as you and i just bought some skinny jeans, i think wearing baggy clothes makes people look bigger than they actually are. alot of guys like curves so we should show them off!

[...] post about the holiday madness… a few more girls (those clever Natalies, preferably, and fat ones, please!) and we’ll have a formidable movement! Image by pinguino via [...]

hopefully this won’t be completely unhelpful. Firstly I think you are one of the better-looking people I’ve seen wear skinny jeans (and sincerely hotter than I would be given that I think my body is oddly-shaped) even though as you mentioned its not even about whether or not other people think you look good but whether or not you feel like wearing it. Your post made me think because I think my body (despite being small) is oddly shaped so I have all these rules: square or v-necks only (because I think my face is round so would never wear a round neck), only high waisted flared/bootcut/wide-leg pants (because I am pear-shaped and think my butt, stomach and hips poke out too much – I haven’t bought jeans in over a year because all the stores were doing skinny and I truly believe I look ugly in them), jackets/cardigans with the middle buttons always done up (so that it looks like I have a waist instead of being square shaped), darker colours on the bottom with lighter on top, never horizontal stripes, never flats (legs are too short), never skirts or shorts above the knee (thighs are too round), never not put on a headband (my hair is short and I think I look too boyish without one – and why looking like a boy should be a bad thing in my subconscious is something I admit I can’t answer) … the list goes on. I’m not confident enough to let go of these rules and break them. I love the idea of gender neutrality, of wearing what you feel like … and I am a big fan of what you are writing here. It’s pathetic when someone within the “socially acceptable who cares if its healthy or not” BMI struggles with body image and yet is faced with such a brilliant example of a glowing, creative, empowered human being. Anyway hopefully if I keep surrounding myself with positive role models like you I’ll learn to accept myself the way I am and ignore what society tells me I should be. In fact I’m going to try really hard to not weigh myself and keep focusing on things like eating more vegetables, drinking more water, stretching, getting enough sleep, and finding ways to enjoy moving my body and what it is capable of. I hate it that society presents us with only one acceptable body type.

It doesn’t matter what you wear at ur size but..skinny jeans do not look good on you

[...] personally, i only got a handful of curious and borderline “mean” comments. definitely deleted a lot of creepy comments on flickr, but i’m talking about more of the ones that were purportedly about my outfits but ended up being about my body. some were obviously intentionally compliments, from a former livejournal friend and still internet friend: “You are one of those lucky betches that has a long enough torso that you can wear high-waisted stuff.” even though it was meant to be a compliment, i ended up feeling wierd about it… i might be overthinking it, of course, but it ends up feeling like body hate. i hate the idea that only certain body types can wear certain garments and styles. a more common example of this is when “skinny jeans” came into style, and there were far too many body-policing conversations masquerading as fashion commentary, saying that people over a certain size “are not allowed” to wear them. natalie wrote about this better than i ever could, in her great article “you can’t bully me out of my skinny jeans.“ [...]

an intelligent and inspiring post. people are tremendously, unnecessarily stupid and unkind. it is amazing to come across someone as strong as you, who can respond with such dignity to such unprovoked spite.

in my opinion there is nothing less attractive than an ugly personality.

obviously never seen any of the classic art works from centuries gone by? So sad that they are just living in the little bubble that society has created for them which says OMG FAT = EXTREME BAD.

I think you look fantastic in this outfit. You look a lot better than me in Skinny jeans, and I am not a plus sized girl. They don’t compliment my body shape at all, but I still wear them.

such a mad fatty

I cried good tears reading this. You, my friend, are one awesome lady.

Agreed. I am naturally very thin, and I have gone through– and still sometimes go through– the same things you described. *shrug* I guess that’s people for you… but people can be nice and kind, too. Guess we’re just crazy that way. :P

People who make fun of skinny jeans are lemmings who can’t believe their stupid flares/bootcuts/bellbottoms weren’t the pinnacle of human achievement when it came to jeans. These 20 something year olds are all just pissed that they spent their high school years wearing and looking at women in bootcut jeans, rather than the clearly sexier skinny jeans. These people are in denial that they wore clothes that made them look worse at a time when their bodies were the best they could ever hope to be. I too am personally pissed that I spent my entire teenage years hanging curtains around my knees, when i could’ve been displaying my thin lithe ankles and cute shoes.

I randomly found this entry, and seriously, now you’re like my role model.
I’m actually in a “normal” weight range, but I always have feel disgusting. I don’t wear many tight or pretty clothes because I feel like they don’t suit me and that I look ugly.
I admire you so much for the confidence that you have and how you managed this situation with that immature and disrespectful people, I wish one day I can love myself too. And you look completely amazing on your outfit <3

I randomly found this entry, and seriously, now you’re like my role model.
I’m actually in a “normal” weight range, but I always have feel disgusting. I don’t wear many tight or pretty clothes because I feel like they don’t suit me and that I look ugly.
I admire you so much for the confidence that you have and how you managed this situation with that immature and disrespectful people, I wish one day I can love myself too. And you look completely amazing on your outfit <3

but… you look so cute in those skinnys?

i think when you have extra weight (as I do!) wearing those which look as though they’ve taken 2 hours to paint on are not flattering on anyone but sticks (i see size 4 girls walking around I still find them unnattractive.)

Dressing for your size is important (when you’re a certain size, it’s difficult to look as good because they’re just not meant to be worn by anyone but a size 2) but I totally think you rock those skinnies!!

and also – If you think you look good, then who cares what others think!?
My comment was a tad condescending towards your post, but I hope you know what I meant by it.

Hi, just wanted to say that you’re a fantastic individual. Avoiding the compulsion to sling more nasty hateful words back at folks like that shows incredible restraint. Society’s attitude towards body acceptance is soul-crushingly depressing; much respect for rising above it and living your life as you choose.

The Hermes Birkin is the holy grail of bags. While I feel lucky to own my Hermes Birkin in Blue Jean, it is evident that many are hugely ahead of me when it comes to collecting Hermes bags. 

Natalie,
You look fab! You really do. I’m a size 14 and I have skinny jeans heck I even have big thighs and hips but a small waist i’ve been like that since I was a skinny teen many years ago. It’s just a natural thing on me. I really don’t care what people say I did see that group and was angered. Suddenly a Facebook Group Dictates who can and cannot wear skinny jeans? Give me a break! Hopefully they will grow up soon and realize no one is perfect we are who we are. What they did was really cruel but you were really mature about it so kudos to you. You go girl!

Coach Factory Outlet Madison Exotic Shoulder Bag dim Blue,Those who could be the mentor fans should possess a this artist shoulder bag.Such a shoulder bag is using probably the most favored and recognized sorts even although while in the design planet these days.The fashionable design and high best top quality consist of the individuality to the operator inside the sort of coach factory outlet shoulder bags.

hey natalie, 
i came across your site cos i was looking for a recipe for sweet potato and lentil patties! i don’t know how i got here, but i have really enjoyed checking out your site. I am SOO encouraged by your wit, intelligence and awareness of how societal pressures affect us every day. I am a youth health worker and see it so much with kids these days- i know its always been around but it really does seem worse.
Anyway, i just wanted to say you go girl. you’re super smart and interesting and i couldn’t give a shit what you look like. as long as you are a nice person and you are true to yourself.
keep smiling!
claire

You have inspired me to buy my first pair of skinny jeans!

I just found your blog tonight and I was wondering – where did you find those skinny jeans? I live in a shopping hell hole and rely on online shopping. I’d love to get me some rockin skinny jeans. 

Hello, I just discovered your blog through Fat Shopaholic and I have been browsing through it a lot. I agree with many of the people who read your blog. I applaud the strength in your voice and your beliefs. Its so hard to truly understand yourself, forget about being yourself. I love your art, especially your new portraits of the fashion ladies. I think you look great in skinny jeans and everything you put on, because you have a sense of style. 
I’m sorry your picture was taken and used negatively, I can imagine the feeling. I would feel anxious and paranoid, you on the other hand..AWESOME reaction. fuck yes! 
I hope everything is going well in Australia. 

cheers,
Nat :), your new admirer.
(I draw as well…not as awesome  as you..but thats what i use my blog for. If you’re ever bored, check it out, and I hope you like it.)

You go GIRL! This is the best article I’ve read all week. Keep writing encouraging words to those who need them and continue to educate the naive.

Disclaimer: I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE (did I mention hate?) skinny jeans on anyone other than children, lmao. That said, you look amazing! Might have to rethink my stance on skinny jeans…  how do people sit in those things? *wince* rock on mama, ya look good :D