Elaborate Donut Cravings.

The other night I had a craving for a donut, but not a cinnamon sugar donut, more like an elaborate donut with sprinkles, fun, love, ticker-tape parades and a cheesecake filling. A donut as a metaphor for the things I can’t do right now, something that is elusive and out of reach signifying aspirations and hopes I’ve had to put on hold. I’m still feeling pretty wretched and every day is a struggle, so this “craving” sort of felt significant for me.

I haven’t done much drawing in the last six months, even though I’ve really really wanted to my cognitive abilities have been severely diminished. When I thought about what an elaborate donut might look like, I really wanted to draw it. So I started drawing, bit by bit. Then I added more and more until it looked like a new coat of arms for me!

A pen illustration of three sprinkle-topped donuts stacked on a unicorn horn that is held up by four fat babes and surrounded by a deer, a unicorn, licorice allsorts, diamonds and bacon. Text says “The most elaborate donut ever” and Miffy the little dog runs in front wearing a top hat.

I don’t know if I can adequately convey how proud I felt to finish this drawing but if you are a maker of things, you might have some idea. Lots of things pop in and out of my head and most of them are forgotten, some of them are written down and a miniscule percentage are actually acted upon. To pull tangible things out of your brain is a painful experience and requires concentration, revision, memory, composition, editing and diligence. In my current situation this is made even more difficult, so being able to put my elaborate donut down on paper feels like a massive achievement.

Lots of people ask me if I’d ever do a colouring book of my drawings and in the past I never gave much thought to it, but this drawing seems more like the type of thing that might be enjoyable to colour in. I’ve been colouring Nicole Lorenz’s Fat Ladies in Spaaaaace book over the last few weeks and loving the hell out of it, so when people responded so positively to this drawing on Tumblr and asked if I would make a colouring book… I started to think that I might actually pursue the idea.

What do you think? Would you like to colour in my metaphorical food cravings?

14 comments

  1. I think a coloring book of elaborate doughnuts and cupcakes topped with rainbows would be delightful! And kudos on drawing it – not only do I love the image, I love that you finally produced something when you’ve been feeling so stifled. <3

  2. YES!  actually i would love a coloring book (or a how to draw book)  of kids of ALLL sizes.  some short, sickly ones…some short fat, some tall and fat….ya know?  i think a size-ist free coloring book would be so rad (and i would totally dl and print it for my girls!)  i just cant draw myself.

  3. It’s a beautiful and very elaborate donut for sure. As a non drawer I just think it is amazing that you produced this. Out of nothing! It’s like some type of mystical magic when I think about how you just did this.

    I would want to colour it in but would probably go out of the lines, screw it up in a ball and cry. Just like in grade 2.

  4. I would totally want to color in your drawings. And I am so proud of you for keeping on keeping on. I know how hard it is. You know I really do know. Much with the love and hugs.

  5. I love the drawing.  I would color it in.  Being the manic collector of t-shirts that I am, what I would REALLY love is a shirt with that drawing on the front.  It’s wonderful!

  6. That’s a delightful drawing.

    Unfortunately, now I want a donut with cheesecake filling, and I’m not sure whether it’s physically possible.

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