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After going to TEDxBrisbane and seeing Dallas Clayton’s video on publishing “An Awesome Book” I have been feeling inspired to self publish a book. I’ve also been reading a few old zines, the FaT GiRL zines from the 90s in particular, and I thought I’d start out by publishing a zine on body image – your body image.

So, I put up a question on a Google Form: Tell me about your body in 10 words or less.

Lots of people have contributed their statements already! Some of them are sad, some are funny, but all of them speak to me of honesty and struggle.

So, how do you feel about your body? You can contribute too. You don’t have to put your real name, but a name is nice because I can illustrate your words and then attribute those words to you. The end product will be an A5 sized zine – I am yet to figure out the details, but I hope to have enough interest in the book to have it colour printed. I will also make the zine available online for free.

If you’re interested in a printed zine, please let me know so I can start figuring out numbers!

In a culture where negative self talk is actively encouraged most of us have days when we feel like we don’t measure up. This practice of comparing ourselves and our bodies with others rarely produces good outcomes. It’s such a damaging culture that even those with high self esteem aren’t immune. Even those who are activists, advocating for fat acceptance, aren’t safe.

When I find myself in these moments where I compare myself to others and despair at the ways I am lacking, I try to remember this. Some people are surprised that I can fight for size diversity, human rights and self-love so fiercely yet still be afflicted with bouts of crippling low confidence – but I’ve got to tell you right now, this is proof of our self-hating culture.

Margaret Cho, someone more eloquent (and hilarious) than I, says it really well.

Copy and paste this in a txt file, or make it your desktop. Read it all the time and remember it.

Being an artist and particularly one with a wrist injury, I think a lot about my hands and how useful they are (also how awful it would be if I lost use of them). For years I’ve never really been into decorating my hands with polish because it seemed like a waste – nails are for keeping short and clean so they don’t catch on delicate things or mark any of my projects. The other thing is that I have weak nails and nail polish never seems to last more than a couple of days before chipping off and making me look like a grungy 90s teen.

Recently I’ve been reading Super Kawaii Mama and Violet LeBeaux’s entries on nail art and have been inspired to give it a go. While the 3D stuff is highly impractical for me, 2D techniques using pens and dotting tools are really appealing.

I bought a white Sally Hansen Nail Art Pen the other day, and have experimented a little bit with it but I have a lot of practice to undertake! I think I’ll also try to find and buy an actual dotting tool so I can use the nail polish I have on hand to create designs.

The pen I have is only really good for drawing dots, but I’ve played around with drawing other things and even tried using a toothpick and nail polish. The results weren’t that great, and even using bottom coats and top coats my polish was still chipping after two days! I’ll keep playing around with my nails and I hope one day I happen across the solution. I really want to be able to doodle on my nails the way I do with pen and paper!

I want to take a moment to appreciate and respect some of the fantastic people who have influenced me in the arena of body acceptance. When I started using the internet, it was more than just a mass of information ping-ponging from server to server, it was a means of finding and communicating with people who were like minded, and because I have always felt like the odd one out it was really important to me that I have access to the internet. From a young age I was interested in social justice and human rights, but it felt like all the people in my “real life” thought I was crazy, or a bleeding heart liberal (which ever is worse?!)

I’ve said before that identity and styling always intrigued me, and while I have struggled with body image and identity I never really hated myself. I knew my struggle was against societal conditioning, not me, so when I came across fat positive people in the late 90s and early 00s, it was an amazing feeling knowing that I could plug into these networks and NOT be thought of as awful just because I was fat.

A lot of the role models I list are from the last five years, because I’m sad to say that I have lost contact with (and forgotten names of, sadly) a number of friends and admired people that I knew in the earlier days. If any of them stumble across this entry, I just want to thank them for their support, encouragement and enlightenment.

Beth Ditto

It goes without saying, but Ms. Ditto is a phenomenon. It’s not often that I can rave about a celebrity and admire pretty much all of their persona, their art, what they say, and how they carry themselves but Beth Ditto ticks all the boxes for me. Plenty of people have said that they can’t stand how she strips down to few clothes during performances, or that she behaves in a generally unladylike manner, but they are revolutionary acts she carries out in a world that pooh-poohs women for not being whatever enough. I like it. Screw being ladylike, own yourself!

Kelli Jean Drinkwater

I don’t know much about Kelli Jean, but I know that she rocks. She’s a performer, actor, model, film maker and an all-around champion of fance. Currently she’s in Sydney causing havok, so if you see any events she’s associated with CHECK THEM OUT AND REPORT BACK TO ME!

Marianne Kirby

Participating in the fatshionista Live Journal community was hugely challenging for me, but it has also been incredibly rewarding. I am pretty sure I butted heads with Marianne in her moderating role a few times in the early years, but after I read the book she wrote with Kate Harding (Screw Inner Beauty in Australia, Notes from the Fat-o-Sphere in the US) it dawned on me that some of the things I was clinging to, that I would defend tooth and nail, were hurting me and holding me back. Like pretty much everyone in western society, I would judge other people and validate myself by putting others down. My defensiveness was a pretty natural reaction to being challenged on this, but I’m glad Marianne challenged me. I am a happier person within myself for it.

Lesley Kinzel

Lesley is another moderator of the fatshionista LJ community, but also runs fatshionista.com. Even when I was a complete defensive twat Lesley would respond with warmth, humour and compassion and she really did inspire more of that sort of thing in me. I was so honoured when we started talking via Twitter, and she even put my blog on the fatshionista.com blogroll. Pretty daggy, I know, but that’s the kind of honesty Lesley inspires. The Boston Globe is even backing up my recommendation, with a huge article on the fantastic things this woman has done for Fat Acceptance on the internet. Go read it!

Thank you for being unashamedly you, and thank you for showing me that it’s ok to be unashamedly me.

I love playing with how I look, by and large I’m pretty fortunate to live in a country where I am free to do just so. I may get odd looks, people whispering behind their hands and others who simply express their delight/ confusion to my face; as an introvert it’s not really my favourite part about being “wacky”, but I guess it’s par for the course. We have been trained all our lives to tuck ourselves in, to blend in with everyone else and to avoid marginalising ourselves (if you’re privileged you’re fortunate enough to get to choose this!) and those who do not are accused of crying for attention. It’s really not as simple as that.

As a fat person I have been instructed by society through implicit and explicit signals that I should not be visible. Obviously, if you know anything about me, you’d know I think that’s a load of rubbish. As a woman, I have been instructed in other ways to be ever polite, kind, beautiful and ladylike. I also think this is rubbish. We are taught to keep our knees toghether, but why? To hide our bodies (our genitals, mostly) from the view of people (who in all likelihood have genitals also); to maintain a feminine mystique; to reinforce this systematic conditioning that sets us up as enemies with our bodies? Why are bodies supposed to be such secret hidden things? And sidenote: what is so offensive about people wearing tights as pants? I really don’t understand the outrage!

I look how I look because I very consciously question societal gender and body conditioning. I know it challenges a lot of people, my parents especially, but I just couldn’t be me if I did everything everyone wanted me to. My self esteem directly benefits from this, because I’m not as concerned with hiding bits of myself as other people are (even though I still battle this!)

So I have crazy hair styles, wear the outfits I wanna and let my laughter ring like a bell (reportedly a very LOUD bell.) If people take issue, it’s not my issue! I do not dress for other people. I may dress to an occasion but I am VERY adamant about not seeking the approval of other people when I style myself. I feel that it plays a huge part in compromising your confidence and esteem. I put make up on, tease my hair, and put together outfits as a way of expressing how I’m feeling; or if I’m feeling glum, to express how I want to feel.

I find identity and styling fascinating, and would love to know: am I alone on this? Do you think about how you style your body, or is it just about putting on clothes every day?

The other day when I was getting ready to go out I thought I’d record my ritual. This is my “bare minimum” face for being presentable outside my house and I’ve done it since I was in my teens. I have acne that is impervious to over the counter treatments (believe me, I’ve wasted so much money!) so make up has always been my mask. I feel very self conscious if I am without foundation and in a way, it is quite limiting having this anxiety about showing my real face. I guess this video is about unveiling my mask and my ritual, more than anything.

The song “Marie-Claire” is by Elfes, and the lyrics are in French but when I passed them through Google Translate (I hope that link works!) they spoke about body image anxiety – so I thought it was rather appropriate!

I’m so glad ess_jay posted this on twitter. INCREDIBLE.

It makes me wish I had turned my 8 really hard steps video into a narrative, but I’m the sort of person who helps people illustrate stories not write them! Anyhoo, go watch!

I think everyone picks themselves to pieces – even the most seemingly confident of people. Sometimes I think that my low self-esteem exists so that I don’t get too full of myself, and other times it really gets me down. I’m very guilty of comparing myself against other people (in terms of fashion, looks, professional skills, etc!) and it’s only this year that I’ve decided to become conscious of myself when I do it, and try to turn it around. It’s rather hard! I was stoked to see that Georgie Love, Frocks & Frou Frou and No More Mumus have started a mini-meme in the Australian blogging sphere, and they’ve answered the $64 million question, “What do you love about yourself?” So now I’m going to do it!

What I love about myself:

• I seem to be able to pull off nearly every hair colour.
• My sense of humour and general irreverence.
• My lips, which I used to be teased for!
• My height.
• I’m willing to give anything a go.
• I love that my hands create things.
• My drive to keep learning.
• My problem solving and resourcefulness.
• How one of my eyes is half brown.
• I’m nice.
• My eyebrows (over tweezing when I was 15 lead to low maintenance brows!)
• I’m willing to go out on a limb to make people feel comfortable or happy.
• My passion.
• Last of all! I love that I am a billboard for myself. I love that I don’t take myself too seriously. I am not afraid to express myself through my body, clothes, art, blog etc etc etc!

You are now under strict orders to blog about how much you love yourself! If you don’t have a blog, leave a comment

I have been absolutely OVERWHELMED with responses to “How to love yourself in 8 really hard steps“, so I want to maintain some of the body image vibe in my blog from now on. In this post, I want to share one of my secrets to feeling confident and loving myself – and it’s just a simple matter of taking a photo of myself! I have been following flickr groups like wardrobe_remix, Fatshionista and No More Mumus for a while, and on the odd occasion (when I’ve remembered) I submit a photo. I really love to put my outfits together, and even though I don’t have any kind of budget for designer stuff, I still feel great about myself when I wear things I feel comfortable and awesome in. My main failing has been consistency – often I’m running late enough as it is to be bothered with pulling out my tripod, or trying to get Nick to take a photo of me where my head isn’t cut off!

I think photographing and documenting our outfits has so many benefits. I’m slowly learning to pose myself – something I’ve always had difficulty with. Usually I’m the girl who pulls a face in a photo! I think photographing your outfit can also help you to find peace with your body shape and how you look to everyone else. I take inspiration from other flickr outfit posters, especially from the plus size groups, and find myself becoming bolder because of the influence I take from people like tootsicle, 52 stations, Girlchile and pining for the moon. I’m also an avid reader of The Musings of a Fatshionista and Young, Fat and Fabulous – Christina and Gabi are amazing fashion role models for me, who take HUGE risks. I bought wet look tights the other day just because I heard Chris chanting “DO IT DO IT DO IT” in the back of my head.

So from now on, I’m going to make a concerted effort. My friend Sonya, of the No More Mumus blog, really inspires me because she consistently takes photos of her amazing outfits and posts them to flickr. I don’t go out a whole heap, but I’m pledging to myself that when I do dress up – I’m going to take a photo. Hell, if I’m going to the shops and I’ve pulled something together that makes me feel great, I’m going to take a photo of that too!

Some tips for taking photos of your outfits:

• Use a tripod if you have access to one.
• If you don’t have access to a tripod, use a human being who can take directions well.
• If you don’t have a tripod or a human being, find somewhere you can prop your camera at about eye height.
• If you have a remote, use it! Disguise it by putting it up your sleeve, or putting your hands on your hips.
• If you don’t have a remote (my new camera doesn’t!) use the 10 second timer.
• Turn your camera around so it’s of portrait orientation. We want to see your head and your feet!
• Try to put yourself in a place where the light is behind the camera, not you.
• If you take photos during the day, and you’re in a well lit area, don’t use the flash. If you can’t avoid the flash, that’s ok! Just ensure we can see the details, colours and textures in your outfit.
• Try not to have distracting things in the shot. I’m pretty guilty of this, so I’ll forgive you quicker than others
• Take photos from a few angles – front, side and back! And include detail shots of brooches or your shoes. I love outfit posters who do this!

I have been so busy lately, but I want to tell you about a few purchases I’ve made in the last few weeks – from We Love Colors, Yours Clothing and Evans. But I need to create a few outfits first to fully illustrate them – so hold tight, they’ll be coming soon!

Body image has always been something I’ve been interested in and at uni it took the guise of identity and styling, or the ways in which individuals dress themselves in order to assume an identity. In my last 10 years as a fat woman who has never felt ashamed of being fat, I have thought a lot about how anyone who isn’t slim manages to style themselves. It isn’t easy, but it isn’t impossible, and I’ve found it a kind of delightful challenge to style myself as a woman who fits into anything between an Australian size 20-24. I’ve had a particularly privileged journey to body acceptance, because I’ve had loving family, friends and partners along the way as well as access to incredible resources online. For many people, it’s not only difficult but upsetting, and when I’m asked how I can love myself or how I can help them love themselves… I’m often at a loss.

I figure though, that I’m in some kind of special position to help guide people to a place of contentment and, gasp, love when it comes to their bodies. In the past few weeks I’ve even begun to think that I could be some kind of coach – so this post is my first draft: A guide to loving yourself in 8 challenging but rewarding steps!

1. Talk about your body.

I think one of the reasons why so many people are ashamed of their bodies is because they aren’t really sharing what actually goes on. It’s all about normalisation – share all the fun stuff, the scary stuff and the downright weird stuff with your friends, family and children so we don’t treat ourselves like alien entities.

2. When someone compliments you, just say thank you.

Don’t have a ready-prepared quip specifically designed to disarm the compliment giver. A compliment will not hurt!

3. Question the things you used to take for granted.

When you hear a report on tv or the radio about the obesity epidemic, question where they got their information from. The American study that is so oft quoted figured the number of deaths from obesity at 400,000 but unfortunately none of the media agencies pulled their flailing arms out of the air when that figure was brought down to 25,814. That’s a huge revision, and while the CDC released the revised number, the media and marketing people clung to the hype (interesting article from the Skeptical Inquirer). Turns out, reducing the “Obesity Epidemic” to a load of bunkum doesn’t make anyone money. Question every thing you see and hear about the Obesity Epidemic OOGA BOOGA – you usually find that the people funding these studies have fingers in a few interesting puddings (eg: those nutrient devoid Weight Watchers desserts!)

4. Don’t assign good or bad values to food and exercise.

When you eat something because it’s “good” or exercise because it’s “good” you’re just punishing yourself. Do things that you actually factually ENJOY and the reward will be twofold. Listen to your body and it’ll tell you the things it needs to eat, and the activities it needs to partake in. This is one of the key parts of Health At Every Size – by “honouring your body” you’ll consume things that you’re absolutely besotted with, and move because it moves you.

5. Wear clothes that fit you and make you feel good.

Shame is the worst way to motivate yourself, and it will work against you by letting you down AND making you feel bad. And feeling bad is not the objective here – feeling fabulous is! Clean out your wardrobe and dump every single item of clothing that makes you feel bad about yourself. Do not keep items aside because you think you’re going to fit into them one day – give them to someone who can actually wear them! Hold a swap party like I did, donate to your favourite organisation or give special things away to special friends.

6. Think about activities you’ve always wanted to do but have been too scared to try – and do them.

Take joy from moving your body in ways that you actually take pleasure in, and get out of the rut of thinking that you only need to go to a gym or use home equipment. This is not about “having to” it’s about “wanting to”. By doing what you want, you’ve got an inbuilt motivational mechanism right there. So many people wonder why they end up wasting their gym memberships – it’s probably because they don’t actually enjoy it. So find something you absolutely love! Join a roller derby team or a synchronised swimming group, learn how to ice skate, or go rock climbing. Move in ways that make sense to you!

7. Don’t weigh yourself.

In Screw Inner Beauty, the authors sum it up perfectly: if your clothes fit the way they did yesterday, you don’t need to freak out. Throw out your scales – they are just little electronic demons squatting in your bathroom, making you feel rotten.

8. No negative self talk.

This is a hard habit to break, but once you tell yourself that you’re going to be on the watch for negative self talk, you’ll notice that you can usually flag yourself as you’re thinking terrible things. Tell your friends and family that you are a “negative self talk free zone” – and you won’t put up with negative self talk from yourself or from them! I extend this to “no diet or weight loss talk” but it depends how far you want to go. I consider weight loss talk to be incredibly harmful, and forbid it from my conversations.

9. Bonus (and compulsory) step: Tell yourself you are awesome.

Look in the mirror, do a little dance, and congratulate yourself for being fricking brilliant.

Never think that those who accept their bodies never have a moment of doubt, because it’s only human to have those low moments. What gets easier is bouncing out of those low times. I’m not even going to begin to kid you on this: changing the way you perceive your body is incredibly hard work. The alternative is the status quo, so you may as well start today because you’re just wasting time! I strongly believe that every person is capable of loving and honouring themselves and that we all have the right to at least give it a burl!