Even though the colour of my bike was the approximate shade of a McDonalds cheese slice stuck to an oily wrapper, I grew close to it and learned of all its secrets. If I wanted to carry stuff on the rear rack I had to balance it just right because it was a little bit wonky; and no matter how hard I tightened the bolts on my handle bars and seat they would go askew at inconvenient moments throwing me off the bike violently unless I paid attention to the warning signs.

I had that same bike until I was about 16 and with it I explored three different neighbourhoods; I rode around multi-story carparks, made my way through bushland to fish water lilies out of the creek and snuck out to the shops to get ice blocks on hot summer days. There must have been some moment when I thought I had outgrown my ugly yellow bike, leaving it in the garage in favour of catching trains and buses to explore things outside my neighbourhood. When I learnt how to drive a car it seemed that I would never ride a bike again!

In recent years I’ve noticed a renewed interest in biking for transport and fun. Brisbane City Council have even started the City Cycle initiative with bikes for hire to get around the inner city and CBD. The programme is pretty cool but I never lived close enough to a City Cycle station to have a go. That, and the last time I’d ridden a bike was well over a decade previously! So living too far away from a bike station, having long distant bike experience, no helmet and lingering doubts that one of the City Cycle bikes could even hold my magnificent body sort of precluded me from jumping on a bike like the Council wanted. Their “healthy initiative” unfortunately won’t be a great success until it becomes more accessible and inclusive.

The thing about encouraging fat people to “just get active” is that far too many activities are unwelcoming and even hostile to fat bodies. Did you know that many resistance machines at gyms have weight limits? Fat people do. Have you ever gone on a nice walk only to have people looking at you or screaming fat hating jeers out of cars? It happens to fat people all the time. So pardon all the fatties when they react with extreme suspicion to council “healthy lifestyle” initiatives!

It wasn’t until I came across the Fat Babes on Bikes Tumblr that I truly believed I could possibly get on a bike again. When the seed was planted, it grew furiously! Fuck Yeah Fat Positive started receiving lots of tips and information about bike riding for fatties and with those bits of encouragement I started researching bikes, tyre pressure and seats until I was fairly confident that I’d be able to sit on a bike and fly down a hill just like I used to.

Before we moved down the coast I had a few goals, and buying a bike and learning to ride again was one of them. My plan fell into place beautifully thanks to Zoe, who sold me her Electra Amsterdam Ticino! I started out by having a ride on the grass with the seat lowered but found it really hard until I figured out the gear was set high, another challenge for me since my childhood bike was only a fixie. My first practice left me feeling exhilarated but a bit daunted, it was a challenge to balance myself on the bike and control the brakes.

A photo of me wearing a bike helmet and smiling.

So I sat back down at my computer and looked up information on learning to ride as an adult. Best of all, I discovered I wasn’t alone and that I wasn’t a complete failure for forgetting how to ride a bike! Top tips that were helpful for me: don’t use the handlebars to steer, instead use them for balance; it’s easier to ride in a straight line when you’re going faster; and many people find rolling, not pedaling, down a gentle grassy slope useful for getting their bike balance. There are quite a few more tips on this fantastic forum thread too!

A few days after we moved into our new place Nick went out and bought his own bike. The assistant at the bike shop was super helpful and listened to all the things Nick wanted to have in a bike, plus he ensured the best fit. Nick bought a speedster, a much faster bike than my Dutch city-styled Electra, and we started out slowly for my benefit because Nick seemed to be able to get the hang of his bike much easier! Once I raised my seat to the right height for me everything clicked and I was able to ride down the street with a fair degree of ease (but alas, very little grace!)

A photo of me standing next to my light blue bike in the middle of a street.

A photo of me standing with my helmet on and my blue bike in front of me.

A photo of me riding my bike, taken from the side.

We’ve been riding down to the shops, along the local bike path and exploring our neighbourhood and while I’m still a little nervous it’s incredibly liberating to be able to get on a bike and make it fly. It’s been so beneficial for my social phobia too, allowing me to go outside for some exercise and exposure to the world while still having a little personal space bubble enveloping me and my bike. I’ve been able to ride around by myself without feeling like everyone is going to laugh at me, probably because my bike makes me feel like I really am in a badass bike babe gang! I’ve even got plans to sew myself up some cute biking outfits. Wanna join my gang?

A photo of me riding my bike away from the camera, down the road.

One of the things I always wanted to do, but worried that I couldn’t, is run. Last year, in my year of being awesome to myself, I started to believe I could run! Sure, running in public as a fat person is scary and fraught with anxiety, but it was an issue I had to confront if I wanted to achieve my goal. I started by meeting a personal trainer and telling her about Health At Every Size and encouraging her to incorporate HAES principles into her ethos. Then I bought a pair of skins and walked the Bridge to Brisbane in a tutu! I’d heard of Couch to 5k a couple of years ago but instantly dismissed it because I didn’t know what my body could do, and then I forgot all about it until I was looking for iPhone apps late one night a few weeks ago. I came across the C25k app and it was decided – I would achieve my goal to run.

In the last year, even though I had a great foundation of self esteem, I became more comfortable with my visibility as a fat person. Running challenges how comfortable I am as a fat person making herself visible, because fat people are not perceived as being able to run or being interested in their health (I know this to be untrue, but do you?) I want to run down a busy main road and not worry about cat calls or abuse, because I am running for me. It’s important to mention that I’m not doing this for weight loss. Running has always been something that has intrigued me, and when I see people jogging along the road I feel pangs of envy. I enjoy moving my body – yep, even working up a sweat – but I am not interested in competitive sports, so activities like walking and swimming have always appealed to me. But running… running involves pushing through mental barriers, physical stamina, breathing correctly, and best of all… moving swiftly!

If you’re not familiar with the Couch to 5k concept, it is a nine week programme that has three sessions per week. You start with a five minute walking warm up and then do a 60 second jog followed by a 90 second walk. The jogging interval is repeated for 20 minutes, and concluded with a five minute cool down walk. Every week the intervals are stepped up until you hit Week 7 when you’re running for 25 minutes. In the final three weeks you work up to running the whole 5k!

I started the first week of the Couch to 5k programme last week and probably got a bit too ambitious – I did two sessions in two days without giving my body a chance to rest. So I left the third session of the first week until today. Upon reflection, it’s been quite amazing to see the improvement in my body: my bones are getting stronger and I have more stamina! I am aiming to repeat Week 1 again, just to make sure I am physically and mentally prepared for the next week’s challenge.

I am hoping to blog about my Couch to 5k programme weekly – to reflect and encourage myself, and maybe a little bit because I want you to hold me to my commitment! If you want to join me in the C25k there are a heap of resources on c25k.com where you can download an iPhone or iPod app or find a podcast. There’s also heaps of tips and support at Cool Runnings too!

My tips for starting Week 1 of the Couch to 5k:

• Wear skins – lycra tights that allow your thighs to glide past each other. You will regret the epic chafing if you don’t wear lycra! Mine are from Target, I found them in the men’s section!
• If you have an iPhone or iPod Touch (I think) you can download the C2Ck app; if you have an mp3 player you can download any number of podcasts that have music playing between the intervals; and if you don’t have either, go buy a stop watch with a countdown timer.
• If you’re using the Apple app – don’t lock your screen. It’s a pain in the arse but apparently Apple won’t let programs run in the background. I learnt this the hard way and pretty much walked my whole first session wondering when I’d have to run!
• Take it easy, and jog at your own pace. Even if that pace is slow.
• If you can’t push through a tough jogging interval, walk through it. Just keep moving.
• BREATHE! Even if you have to breathe loudly. It’s your right as a human being.
• High five yourself when you’re finished each session!