Browsing Tag

Art

Art, Blog Stuff

Where have you been?

1 October, 2013

“I just noticed you haven’t been blogging!”
At the risk of indulging in some navel gazing and completely turning away those of you who hadn’t already written me off, I thought I might make a low key comeback by interrogating myself and asking why I haven’t been blogging.

When I wrote about fatshion blogging and the sticky web it is weaving with brand partnerships and how it is mirroring fashion in mainstream media, I got a lot of flack. People didn’t want to have these tough questions put to them and accused me of ruining the fun, personally insulting them, and being a no-fun hack. It wasn’t a particularly enjoyable experience and I gained little from it. I don’t even think fatshion bloggers paid much attention at all, because at this stage I still see that pretty much every blogger, even the ones just starting out, are going for brand appeal. In my mind, success as a blogger was breaking through to mainstream media and increasing my audience, and the way to do that was to participate in a culture I did not agree with – ergo I could never be successful as a blogger.

My decision to drop the sponsorship and advertising meant far less content. My financial situation meant far fewer new purchases, and in turn my outfit posts dropped as well. At the same time, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on medication; as easy as it is to say that the medication affected my ability to write, I can’t fully pin the blame there. We bought a house, and that meant even more financial struggle. My focus changed to figuring out how to make money as a person with disabilities, and a person who has self-taught skills and a fairly rigid set of values. (I am, if not anti-capitalist, definitely a doubting capitalist.) I wasn’t going to get a book deal from blogging because I was saying things people didn’t really want to hear, my audience was dwindling, and I’m not actually a very good or disciplined writer.

Watercolour self portrait of myself posing and taking a selfie with my phone. Hand drawn text says "Selfie princess".

Watercolour self portrait of myself taking a selfie with my phone while looking insecure and posing. Hand drawn text says “Selfie princess”.


A watercolour and ink self portrait as I beam rays of coloured lights from my eyes. The background is very heavily patterned with doodles.

A watercolour and ink self portrait of me staring ambiguously, beaming rays of coloured lights from my eyes. The background is very heavily patterned with doodles.


After five years of focusing on fine art, I decided to review my situation. No one was buying my original art because it was too expensive for the small circle of really lovely people who populate my audience, and I was struggling with the gallery system due to a lack of social skills and ongoing mental health problems. If no one has ever destroyed the troubled artist trope for you before, please allow me to do it now. Mental illness is a barrier to success in the art world. There are a number of artists who deal with illness and have found success but by far, the majority do not ever get there. So I needed to reconfigure my product and tailor it to my lifestyle. I already had Fancy Lady Industries so it seemed natural to expand! And for the last year that has been exactly what I’ve been focusing on.

Running Fancy Lady Industries has been full time and then some. I sketch, design, trial, produce, and put all the products together; I document my processes; I take product photos and write descriptions; I run the shop; I pack orders; and Nick and I promote on social media. I’ve been able to develop my stock and my business on my terms, and it is incredibly fulfilling and meaningful work.

Three Instagram photos of a decorated plate saying "Full as a goog"; a self portrait of myself making a fairly unattractive face; a sketchbook page with a drawing of a naked me playing ukulele and text saying "My mascara isn't waterproof".

Instagram photos of a decorated plate saying “Full as a goog”; a self portrait of myself making a fairly unattractive face; a sketchbook page with a drawing of a naked me playing ukulele and text saying “My mascara isn’t waterproof”.


Three Instagram photos of my niece Emmerson; my lilac/ pink ukulele; earrings and other accessories I made for Fancy Lady Industries.

Three instagram photos: my niece Emmerson; my lilac/ pink ukulele; earrings and other accessories I made for Fancy Lady Industries.


Oh but I have had time for other things that aren’t especially interesting on a former fatshion blog! I’ve been taking care of my brain, playing ukulele, sewing, gardening and decorating my house. I’ve been drawing and painting as well, but for me, rather than for ~fine art~. I document all of this on Instagram and Twitter, and see little reason to repeat myself on this blog.

I’m still trying to figure out where definatalie.com fits in. I don’t write as much anymore because I have lots of stuff to do, but I have also lost a lot of concentration and word-finding ability on Lamotrigine (the med I take for bipolar). I don’t believe I need to shut down the blog because I hate the idea of never writing again, or never posting another photo of myself wearing clothes. I still believe representation of fat bodies is important! This will never be a daily content blog in the foreseeable future, because I see little value in an obligatory blogging schedule when I have naught to say. You will see me now and then when I have something I need to elaborate on. That’s the value of blogging in the current sphere of social media. You get my quick quips on Twitter, off the cuff snaps on Instagram, largely unedited rants and other things I like on Tumblr, but here on my blog you will be able to consume something longer, and a little more considered. (But probably still kind of inflammatory/ provocative/ charming?)

Art

New drawings about gems and myself.

22 May, 2013
Watercolour and ink illustration of a fat brown-skinned babe wearing gems all over her top half and red bow suspended stockings. Crystals in puddles of pink frosting are on the ground while aqua bubbles float in the air as she makes a bubble.

Watercolour and ink illustration of a fat brown babe wearing gems all over their top half and red bow suspended stockings. Crystals in puddles of pink frosting are on the ground while aqua bubbles float in the air as our hero makes a bubble.

Watercolour and ink illustration of a cluster of nine of my heads all making different facial expressions.

Watercolour and ink illustration of 9 of my own heads all making different facial expressions.

Watercolour and ink illustration of a fat white-skinned babe with gems on her chest, legs open to reveal shining crystals and a long lilac plait that twists around a mint stockinged leg.

Watercolour and ink illustration of a fat babe with gems on their chest, legs open to reveal shining crystals and a long lilac plait that twists around a mint stockinged leg.

Watercolour and ink illustration of two of my heads, the left making an exaggerated expression of disgust, the right looking off to the side with a blank expression.

Watercolour and ink illustration of two of my heads, the left making an exaggerated expression of disgust, the right looking off to the side with a blank expression.

I don’t have many words about these, I guess that’s why I draw pictures!

Art, Craft

Cool new stuff for all you people.

16 May, 2013

Claim your gold glitter fat necklace in the presale - until May 29

Claim your gold glitter fat necklace in the presale – until May 29


I’ve been busy giving Fancy Lady Industries a complete overhaul, tinkering with its innermost workings and fine tuning the whole shebang so I can bring you new stuff in different ways. The most electrifying development amongst a cast of thrills is GOLD GLITTER fat necklaces! I’m running a presale for this limited edition of the fat necklace until May 29, so go get one.

Detail of my finished version of the Not Your Pin Up embroidery pattern.

Detail of my finished version of the Not Your Pin Up embroidery pattern.

The Fancy Babe paper doll is available as a PDF download. Print, snip, dress!

The Fancy Babe paper doll is available as a PDF download. Print, snip, dress!


While you’re over at the new shop, you might notice there’s a bunch of new things and some of them are available IMMEDIATELY! I’ve designed three embroidery patterns with a distinctly political flavour; each pdf comes with stitch suggestions and diagrams of common stitches so even if you’re new to needle work you can start with confidence. Fancy Babe is the first of a line of printable paper dolls and comes with clothes, hair and shoes so you can mix it up in your cubicle at work.

One of ten unique gem powa art card designs.

One of ten unique gem powa art card designs.


You want more? Ok! You know how I love to doodle when I really shouldn’t? I’ve decided to doodle on cards so you can keep one for yourself or send it to a nice person with lovely words inside it. The current bunch of art cards have bright gem powa designs and are named after cute minerals from the earth.

Burgundy vinyl collar embellished with hand stitched "Fat Doll" and studs.

Burgundy vinyl collar embellished with hand stitched “Fat Doll” and studs.


The last item I’m proud to show you is one of the collars I’ve made. This “Fat Doll” collar is made from burgundy vinyl and backed with felt; I’ve drafted this especially for people with bigger shoulders and necks. It’s a beautiful hand made art piece to embellish your carefully curated fatshion wardrobe.


Go browse the fance
and don’t forget about pre-ordering your gold glitter fat necklace!

Art

Low end art supplies for low brow art.

6 April, 2013

I’ve been drawing more and more with markers lately, and not even the fancy alcohol based ones. I only have a few of those (some Copics but mostly Shin Han Touch pens) and the few I have are running out of ink fast. A couple of weeks ago I saw Office Works had a tub of 50 Faber Castell Connector Pens on sale so I scooped them up and have been merrily doodling away the last few weeks. The difference between alcohol and water based pens is huge, you can blend and layer ink with the alcohol markers but if you put too many layers of ink down with a water based marker you’ll pull up a bunch of paper fibres. So they aren’t a proper substitute but they’re the substitute I can afford. For the price of 50 connector pens I would only be able to buy two or three alcohol based markers! These drawings use both types of markers; and the ability to layer and blend alcohol markers is evident in the first drawing.

Marker drawing of two self portraits, both looking confused and in mid conversation.

Marker drawing of two self portraits, both looking confused and in mid conversation.

Marker drawing of two fat people with gem adornments.

Marker drawing of two fat people with gem adornments.

Marker drawing of a fat person with a large shining red gem for a heart.

Marker drawing of a fat person with a large shining red gem for a heart.


My mother-in-law once said my drawings were rude and ever since then I’ve been self conscious about it. Considering a nude body as vulgar speaks of prudery and shame. I draw a collection of lines organised in a way that makes the brain conclude that it’s meant to represent a body, but there are other lines and shapes on these bodies that signify other things too. Art shouldn’t be read like a mirror, it’s more like a map. I really object to my drawings being read as titillating or erotic, as I’ve seen them put into that context on some tumblr blogs. It says a lot about the lack of respect for women’s bodies and the absolute disregard for consent, that an image of bare breasts is considered pornographic. I’m also reminded of all the boobs in ads targeted at men that are uncensored while images of breast feeding are considered offensive. I’m rolling my eyes directly at you, straight guys.

Art

Public knowledge/ private performances.

10 October, 2012

At first I wanted to draw empowering pictures but then I realised they were empty, almost lies. I’ve been avoiding my real self my whole life because I thought I wasn’t suitable. Confession is familiar, it keeps me in the dark; now I feel like it’s time to live transparently so I am drawing my secrets as if they were common knowledge.

Instagram of a pad with watercolour splotches and the text “Why would anyone choose to be ugly? Who gets to choose to be ugly?”


Watercolour and ink drawing of a fat white lady (me) in a ratty black bra and grey undies looking unsympathetic. Text says “Not for you.”


Watercolour and ink drawing of a fat white lady (me) wearing a green polka dot dress and sweating profusely, fanning herself with a notebook and wiping sweat from her brow.


Sometimes I’m astounded and depressed that we still have to talk about the male gaze.

Art

Ladies, monsters and morality.

5 October, 2012

A pen and marker drawing on transparent polymer sheets of a fat white lady with lilac hair wearing a swimsuit and sporting tattoos, with floating men and food in her stomach.


I slightly resent having to find words to accompany things I’ve drawn. I guess I draw things so I don’t have to find words. I’m trying to find a new way to express the monstrous ugliness inside me, how it is a normal/ neutral thing in my mind but a feared, castigated and hidden set of traits on a cultural level. How there are ugly things I can get away with because I am white (having straight hair that I don’t brush, being typically white and pale), and other things I can’t get away with because I am fat (dressing sloppily, not visibly reducing my fatness, taking up space). How I perform femininity in acceptable ways (I like crafts and flowers) and obscene ways (too much make up). In private spaces I am very comfortable doing my own thing in my own body, slouching, picking zits, pulling faces, sitting with my legs open, burping; yet in public spaces I am extra vigilant in policing my posture, demeanor, behaviour, and dress. I hate being uncomfortable, and I resent having to hem myself in to make other people comfortable. Surely our culture would be better off doing away with the discomfort, the niceties, the shaming, and focusing more on not being dicks to one another.

A self portrait of me with dark brunette hair, squeezing a zit on my stretch marked breast. A purse with a floral china pattern spills out to the left and around me, and a banner with “nice white lady” stretches over me. In the background is a pattern of pink and purple fuchsias, and a doily shape on the lower right.

Art, Mental illness

~tortured artist feelings~

11 September, 2012

Illustration with purple clouds and the text “I’m so sad. What do I do with all this sad?” written in orange and surrounded by rain/ tears.


I’m really fed up with the tortured artist trope. People have said it about me since I was a teenager, and while it’s true that I am kind of a bit artistic and also depressed as fuck, the latter does not positively affect the former. If this were the case I’d be a lot further along in my artistic practice and career.

My craziness has affected me to the point where I can’t leave the house most of the time, let alone go to ~cultural events~ and network with local art people. Making connections is incredibly difficult for me. It’s not that I’m shy, I actually really resent being called shy, it’s that I am overcome with panic whenever I try to do certain social/ professional things. When I say panic, I don’t mean butterflies in my stomach. I sweat. I don’t perspire. Sweat rolls down my face, I get flustered, I forget how to form words and I get disoriented and dizzy. People don’t tend to react favourably towards a leaking, bumbling mess, and so I end up compounding panic with the fear of looking ridiculous. And so on and so forth. I only found out there was a name for this a few years ago, and it’s called Social Anxiety Disorder.

So I don’t go to art events, I don’t hang around with arty types, and I rarely get to immerse myself in discussion and critique. It’s frustrating. Every few months I descend into despair over my worth as a person who creates things, in addition to my worth as a human; but it’s balanced out by hypermanic episodes of frenzied sketching and creating. So it’s ok I guess. My psychiatrist says I might have Bipolar 2. I was put on Lamictal (lamotrigine) and for the first time I felt almost balanced, but now I am experiencing very familiar depths and all creating has halted.

This is my life since 15 and from now on, and that’s very difficult to come to terms with. I don’t wish to receive advice when I talk about my health (I want to emphasise that mental health IS health), I just think it’s important to talk about it instead of feeling ashamed. I try to talk about it, but it’s a struggle, because people’s responses pretty much always fall into one of the following:
* unsolicited advice (try this diet! meds don’t work!)
* redundant platitudes (chin up! be positive! it could be worse!)
* conversation terminated awkwardly (and usually the relationship)

So don’t do that. Thanks.

Illustration with text “Jam sandwich club” surrounded by jam splatters, a jam sandwich, jam donut, jar of jam and jam on a crumpet. A faint piece of bread is in the background.

What I am trying to do is be gentle with myself. I have started to learn ACT techniques, and it’s challenging remembering them but I’ve made a start. I wrote a list of steps I want to take towards sorting some of my drawing feelings out, and that made me feel less hopeless about my creative situation. My plan is to focus on research as well as technique, and to draw every day. Even if it’s simple.

So that’s what I’ve done for the last few days. I hope I can keep it up. These vector illustrations aren’t super slick or fully rendered but they’re something.

Illustration with two roughly cut out photos of manatees that look like they’re about to embrace with “Manatee hugs” above them.


People seem to like this one. You can download it to use as a desktop picture if you like!

Art

Prints are in stock right now!

18 July, 2012

A selection of four of my prints sitting on my shelf: Pastry Queen II, Babe on a bike, DGAF and Donut Baptism.


If you missed out on the pre-order, quit your fearing because I now have a selection of the most popular prints stocked on Fancy Lady Industries. Horah!

The Fat Cow print sits on my shelf with a few other prints,

A close up photo of Glutton.


My absolute favourite is Fat Cow, but the people’s choice seems to be between I get what I want and Pastry Queen II. Which one is your favourite?

Check out all the prints available over here in the print boutique!

(It sounds fancier if I call it a boutique, yeah?)

If you want to hear about new items, restocks and other Fancy Lady Industries news FIRST, then you simply must subscribe to my newsletter. Because it will make you special and put hairs on your chest.

Art

Get 10% off your print pre-order (and everything else!) before midnight.

22 June, 2012

A selection of my art available as prints! Print-preorder and 10% off ends at midnight tonight, June 22. Use OUCH10 at checkout.


Just a reminder that your opportunity to get 10% off one of my prints (and other Fancy Lady Industries paraphernalia!) ends tonight at midnight (Australian time). There’s a super limited selection of original art pieces still left too.

Check out Fancy Lady Industries (or definatalie.bigcartel.com if the domain doesn’t work, which is an ongoing and infuriating issue!)

Art

Charming Prints.

27 May, 2012

A bar chart of my recent prints poll. Leading with 46 votes is Pastry Queen.


Thank you to everyone who voted in the prints poll, I had SO many responses it was overwhelming! Now I need to figure out how to approach selling prints. I may initially do this on a preorder basis just so I can build up enough money to stock prints on an ongoing basis. Or I might figure out another way to do it. I’m just a lady who draws pictures!

A watercolour and ink illustration of a fat white skinned woman with brown hair looking towards the donut on her forehead. A bright halo surrounds her head.


Speaking of, I drew this over the last few days after a conversation with my friend Lillian. Somehow we got onto the subject of donuts and baptisms and I said I’d baptise her and draw a donut on her forehead. Mmmmm blasphemy. Someone should fly me over to L.A so I can hang out with her, draw and laugh at her hilarity.

And finally, after about a year of neglect, I’ve updated my portfolio. Check it out and link it and pin it and do other social things with it, ok? OK!