Purple, pink, blue baubles on the tree (including tiny mirrored disco balls!)

I know everyone’s already posted their holiday photos but we were staying at Mum and Dad’s and I only just mustered the energy to pull all the photos off my camera. We had a quiet Christmas, a claim Nick would object to coming from a small family, and spent the day with my immediate family, our cousins, and some family friends. It was really hot and I wasn’t feeling fabulous. Yes, it’s me your resident Scrooge!

Enjoy my Giftmas spam, or How To Celebrate Christmas When You’re Atheist And Vegetarian. I’ve put the photos behind a link because there are a lot!

Candied peanuts, ginger and dried muscatels sitting in bowls on the decorated table.

Strings of silver, green and red beads scattered on the table with shiny blue tea light holders.

Clusters of pink lilly pilly berries in a gold vase.

Presents, loads of presents, around the tree.

Crackers piled on each other like Jenga pieces!

Amanda and Jeb unwrap large organic looking lamp holders.

Katie hands out gifts.

Nana, the birthday girl, waits for her presents.

Jordan, Matt and Jeb sit on the couch chatting.

A pitcher and glass of sangria sit behind a cheese ball with crackers, waiting for us to consume them!

Salads sit on the table, looking delicious.

A beetroot, feta, onion, walnut and baby spinach salad with balsamic reduction. (It was amazing!)

Tomato, basil and bocconcini salad.

Plates and trays of cold meat, roast meat and vegies.

A plate of star shaped shortbread and white chocolate rocky road.

My Nana standing behind her candle lit birthday cake.

For the next two days, I slept and recovered from all the energy expended on Giftmas day! I hope you had some nice relaxing times too.

A photo of our group of picnickers under the shade of a tree.

While it’s nice living down the Gold Coast, being close to the beach and generally living a slower paced life, I miss Brisbane and my friends a lot. We went up for a picnic at New Farm Park on Sunday in absolutely scorching heat, but you know the best thing about being around friends in hot weather is that they don’t seem to mind if you’re dripping with sweat. (Unless they do, do you friends?! AWKWARD!)

A photo of Nick holding little baby Olivia.

A photo of Viv standing and looking engrossed in her phone with tree branches and foliage dramatically silhouetted behind her.

A super close up of Sonya's face, which wears amazing pink rimmed sunglasses.

A photo of Pete, Mem and Heather being zany and friendly in an iStock photo kind of way.

A photo of piles and piles of Sweet Valley High books being perused.

A photo of Pete's hand against his polka dot denim shorts. He wears a big blue ring with some kind of significance that I'm not aware of.

A photo of Mem with an arm around Pete, who is looking off to the left.

A photo of Miffy wearing Sonya's pink sunglasses looking like the Best and Most Cool Dog ever.

This post will pretty much just be photos because I’m in the middle of packing chaos, I hope you don’t mind.

A black and white photo of Zoe opening a present.

A black and white photo of a paisley Gocco printed card that I made.

A black and white photo of Zoe holding up a framed drawing I made for her.

A black ink drawing of a border of flowers, paisley, waffles and tea surrounding text on a blue background that says "Stay calm and have tea and waffles."

A black and white photo of Sonya holding up my paisley card to her wrist.

A photo of two gold wrapped brownies and some shortbread biscuits on a white plate with fingers dangling ready to snatch all the yummy things up.

An outfit photo of Sonya standing in front of the boot of a white Porche. She wears a black tshirt with animal print harem pants, black shoes and big bangles.

An outfit photo of Zoe standing in front of the Porche, wearing a black tshirt, purple cardigan with floral print wide leg pants and red shoes. She's posing with spirit fingers raised in the air!

A black and white photo of Sonya, Mel, me and Zoe looking generally badass.

A photo of Sonya posing with her hands on her waist like a super model with Zoe in the background.

An outfit photo of me posing with the Porche wearing a cropped pleather jacket, a blue/black/grey diagonally paneled tunic, straight leg jeans and black flats.

Cleaning out your wardrobe has benefits! I found the pleather City Chic jacket given to me when Hayley gave me a CC makeover. It was a pretty awesome choice for the day because later in the morning I went to Zoe’s and adopted her bike!

An Instagram photo of me sitting on my new (to me) bike in Zoe's living room.

BIKER GANG BABE! I’m terribly excited to go on a ride, but need to get this packing out of the way first and then find a bike pump to pump up the tyres!

My outfit details:
Jacket: City Chic
Top: Big W (?)
Jeans: New Look
Shoes: Evans
Necklaces: ebay and made by me ;)

We move on Wednesday and I’m nowhere near ready. EEP!

A photo of a room full of people moving about and holding up clothes that are piled on tables.

A photo of Kat holding up a cream dress, there's a board full of colourful jewellery just in front of her too.

A photo of Ava Savage (I think! Let me know if I've got your name wrong!) holding jeans up amidst the clothing swap bustle.

A clothes hanger full of jackets and coats in different fabrics and textures.

A pair of pink/ orange opal looking plastic earrings on the jewellery board.

I took the opportunity to do a massive wardrobe purge for the swap, and brought along a lot of plus size clothing. I tried to get the word out on Tumblr, Twitter and Facebook and to encourage more plus size people to come along but there weren’t many of us! I was happy to pass my clothes on to other people without looking for swaps, because I am minimising in preparation for the move, but I wished there were more people there I could have given my clothes to. (All the unclaimed clothes are going to Lifeline so at least they will be getting an influx of my quality plus sized clothing!)

Today reminded me again that I have a body that has been sidelined by our culture. If you wear plus sized clothing, you get closed out of a lot of spaces. Physically, medically, romantically, in your career, and in terms of fashion. I love the idea of clothing swaps but have experienced just how difficult it is to encourage fat people to take part and I think it has a lot to do with feeling that we’re not welcome and that there will be nothing available for us. In the future I would love to help organise swapping events that cater specifically to people who wear plus size clothing. In addition to providing a space where people will feel like they know they can swap clothes in their size, it would also be a more comfortable space. Even though I wasn’t swapping today, I did pick through the piles of clothing and found little for me. To be fat is to take up space, and when you’re not involved you can feel like you’re in the way, and that’s another barrier for fat people when it comes to clothes swap events.

My experience today was not an isolated one, and I think if we can develop a strong sense of local community amongst feminists, activists, women and fat people, we can work together to make more comfortable, resourceful and meaningful spaces. I see some fabulous fat activist communities working together to build resources for clothing and swapping in the USA particularly, and pine for that kind of community here in Australia, particularly in Brisbane. Even so, I do have a network of supportive fat activists and friends here in this city and I know I will grieve that when I move.

Oh and here’s what Zoe and I wore today, representing the fat femmes of Brisbane!

An outfit photo of Zoe, fat and pale skinned, wearing a short black dress with a lace collar, grey cardigan, purple tights and floral Doc Martens. She has a hand in her hair and looks down, very lookbook.nu!

An outfit photo of me, fat and pale skinned with short blonde swoopy hair, wearing a black velvet long top with a grey tie dye maxi skirt knotted over black tights with black sandals.

Top: New Look
Skirt: Made by me
Tights: We Love Colours
Sandals: Spendless
Necklace: Made by me
Bag: Dangerfield

We walked into a few boutiques in Fortitude Valley and I felt like my imposter feelings were magnified. I looked at accessories and even the rings and bangles didn’t fit me. The shop assistants either glared or crowded around us asking if Zoe and I were hairdressers because of our “edgy hair”. One touched my tattoo, actually tracing around it with her finger. It was not a nice feeling.

It just makes me feel even more motivated to create spaces that make people feel good and not isolated or ostracised! Can I build a kick arse, supportive, size friendly community down the Gold Coast? Are you living on the Gold Coast? Do you crave this like I do? Gosh, please get in touch!

We lined up for a quick reading from a medium called Jade-Sky, and I really didn’t have a question prepared but she said that I was a teacher, someone who gathered people around me and influenced them. I’m always surprised when people say things like this (and there have been a few, but none of them clairvoyant!) because I don’t see myself as that kind of person at all. All I could blurt out was, “Well um, I have a blog?”

A photo of me, Nick, my mother and sister smiling.

A photo of poached eggs, sliced avocado and a grilled tomato on toast.

After battling our way around a few aisles we emerged with hungry tummies so deserted the festival in search of food. Some guy even offered to take a group photo of us, so that was nice! After lunch I mentioned that Kerbside was a cool place to hang out so we went there and found a Zoe and a Sonya! Horay Brisbane!

A photo of some white lattice and green astroturf with "Garden Party" written in chalk on a black beam. Some butterflies are also stuck on the beam.

A photo of Zoe, me and Sonya standing together, looking fabulously stylish.

An outfit photo of Zoe, fat and pale skinned, wearing a floral dress, military style jacket, with black leggings and floral Doc Martens.

An outfit photo of Sonya, chubby and pale skinned, wearing a red dress, cream and black striped cardigan, with black tights and black patent oxfords.

An outfit photo of Mum, leaning awkwardly and professionally as a future fashion blogger!

An outfit photo of Mum,a pale skinned woman with short brunette hair, wearing a black top and pants with a cream cardi and scarf with black ballet flats.

An outfit photo of me, fat and pale skinned, wearing a cream floral dress with a cropped denim jacket, teal tights and brown ruched boots.

A photo of me, smiling in front of pretty fancy wood doors.

And then back to moi. Naturally.

Dress: via Such Moonshiners
Jacket: New Look
Tights: We Love Colors
Boots: Torrid

An outfit photo of me, fat and pale skinned with short blonde hair, wearing a silver sequin jacket over a short black dress, with black leggings and sandals with a black bag over my shoulder.

A photo of my head and shoulders, I'm on a city street at night and holding a cigarette.

A full length photo of me standing on a city street at night with a smoke in my hand. I think I look a bit awkward, but in a fab way...!

Night time OOTD photos are a challenge but the city lights look pretty, don’t they!?

Jacket: Yours Clothing
Dress: Asos
Leggings: Yours Clothing
Shoes: Spendless
Bag: Dangerfield

Today I met up with my lovely friend Zoe and after trying to figure out where to take our tastebuds she suggested a new waffle and tea cafe near her. It’s absolutely freezing in Brisbane today so I figured hot food and tea were of the highest priority.

An outfit photo of me, fat and pale skinned with short blonde hair, wearing a black cord jacket over a tan t shirt which is over an orange/black patterned dress which is over black leggings. I also accessorise with a green scarf, grey boots, black bag and a sassy pose.

A photo of me from the waist up, looking down and half smiling.

Most of the year it’s gross and hot and sticky in Brisbane, and for a few months we have rather nice mild cool weather. Today has been ridiculously cold, leaving me quite unprepared. I don’t have any big coats so I opted to layer. I’d love to obtain a few jackets and leggings that aren’t black, and some more subtly coloured scarves. Now that I know how to crochet I might make up a few in neutral colours.

Jacket: Autograph
T-shirt: Yours Clothing
Dress: Made by me
Leggings: Asos
Scarf: Can’t remember!

A close up photo of Zoe, who has pale skin and blonde hair and awesome thick rimmed glasses.

A photo of Zoe's hands which have a lovely light purple colour on her nails.

A photo of small waffles in a glass case. There are chocolate, maple, almond, cinnamon and raspberry flavoured waffles.

A photo of a glass case with waffle cakes on the shelves and a row of oranges down the bottom.

A photo of a square white plate with a delicious maple waffle drizzled in maple syrup and a little pink cream piped in the corner.

A photo of an iron bike with decorative scrolls in the wheels and a nice green plant in the front basket.

A photo of a wooden crate painted white mounted on a mossy/sage green wall with two green leaved plants in red pots sitting inside.

A photo of a cup of tea in a clear glass, the milk has formed clouds as it is poured in and mixes with the black tea.

A photo of a green plant and some books in the foreground, in the background is the chalk board menu.

My maple waffle was incredibly delicious and not too sweet OR cardboardy in texture. Lots of plants were scattered throughout the cafe, something I really appreciate these days when cafes are typically just full of furniture and sassy staff. Zoe and I sat and talked for what seemed like an hour and didn’t feel like we had to hop along to free up a table. The waffles are small compared to the ones I’ve seen on US TV shows, but are perfectly delicious.

I reckon Ms Knope would probably love Secret Garden.

Secret Garden
12 Annerley Road, Woolloongabba 4102
Open ’til 8pm

In our Australian culture we may seem to be swimming in sex but there is a huge stigma attached to it. Many second wave feminists claim pornification and sexualisation lead to sexual abuse, but this hurtful theory dismisses the sexual agency human beings have a right to. Police and other government agencies also point the finger of blame at victims, asking them what they did or wore or said to bait assault. Instead we need to turn the finger around and point it at rapists and abusers.

I attended the Slut Walk because I believe all people deserve sexual agency, and that victims are never to blame for their assaults. It is never a victim’s fault. I think that our society’s failure to dismantle rape culture needs to be called out. We have a right to wear what we want to, and go places we like and have consensual sex with anyone. I especially think that consent in sex is essential. I demand that our education system educates children about sex and healthy relationships. This is why I marched.

I recognise that the Slut Walk concept has many problematic aspects. I recognise that I have privileges (white, middle class, western, cisgendered and being in a hetero relationship) that mean I can’t begin to understand what other people have experienced. I want to learn more, and if people want to speak I will listen. I want to give voice to victims of sexual assault who are for AND/ OR against the Slut Walk concept. If you would like to contribute a guest post, please let me know – natalie at definatalie dot com. Anonymity will be respected.

Here are some pictures from Brisbane’s Slut Walk today.

An outfit photo of Nick, fat and bearded, wearing a green polo under a maroon argyle vest with jeans and a flat cap.

An outfit photo of Zoe who is fat and pale skinned with silver hair wearing a black dress and cardigan with leggings and a green scarf.

A photo of Sonya who is pale skinned with short black hair wearing a black top with pointy shoulders and a brown and black patterned skirt. Her bag is tan and she wears black tights with shiny oxford shoes.

A photo of Rex, wearing a dark faery-like outfit sitting in a blue wheel chair, reaching out to spank her husband creature who has a gleeful look on his face.

A photo of someone in the crowd, the back of their tshirt says "Reject rape".

A photo of me standing and holding a sign that says "It's not my fault. Just don't rape."

A photo of one of the Brisbane organisers of Slut Walk standing on a bench and speaking to the crowd.

A photo of Alan McKee speaking to the crowd. Tiara stands to the left, preparing to speak.

A photo of Tiara speaking to the crowd. Her sign reads "This is what I wore when I was raped. I still did not ask for it."

A photo of Fiona Patten, leader of the Australian Sex Party, talking to the crowd.

A photo of the back of my short blonde head, I shaved up the sides this morning.

A photo taken from behind the Slut Walk march down Edward Street.

A photo looking towards the marchers. One sign sticks out and it says "Ask. Listen. Respect."