definatalie.com » diabetes

Thanks Nigella, food is pretty awesome!

Natalie — Thu, 13 May 2010 06:33:34 +0000

When you talk about hard issues, like body image and being fat and feminism, it’s nice to have a refuge. Somewhere to recoop lost Sanity Points. A little place where you don’t have to justify why you have the right to take up space, or field the same old tired questions. Nigella Lawson is one of my happy people who makes a happy place where I can revel in foodie delights and appreciate good food without the guilt that usually accompanies cooking shows.

As a Type 1 Diabetic, I can tell you a few things about food guilt. A serve of carbohydrate ought to be as big as one’s balled up fist, low hypoglycemic foods better serve one’s blood sugars and fizzy, sugary drinks are to be avoided. One should eat small meals every couple of hours and manage one’s blood sugar levels by finger prick tests and the administration of insulin, by another needle. One must also be prepared to be asked, “Should you be eating that?” when one is eating regular meals, and especially when one is suffering a hypoclycemic attack (when one needs carbohydrates to recover!) When T1D guilts start playing with the food guilt at large in the world, one’s brain gets quite muddled. For a long time I saw food as fuel only, and didn’t cook much because the whole concept of “food” overwhelmed me.

I’ve only really started cooking in the last couple of years, and it’s been because of my involvement in the fat acceptance movement. A lot of people might nod and think, “Ah yes, because Teh Obese People want to raise the green flag on food! They just want to eat without sanction!” however it’s a little more complex than that. And a little less scare-mongering too. I wasn’t surprised to read that poorer people were more likely to be obese, because genetics aside, it’s HARD to nourish yourself when you’re time and/or cash poor and especially if you’re confused as to what is actually nourishing. And when brands like Biggest Loser (the Australian TV series) and Domino’s join up, it’s a thoroughly brain melting combination.

Not being in charge of my meals really destroyed any kind of confidence I had in nourishing myself. I ate what other people suggested, and didn’t listen to what my body wanted. This year I figured out, after having my consciousness raised by the concept of intuitive eating, that my body doesn’t digest meat in an especially comfortable way, so I became vegetarian. In the last few months the bloating and bowel pain I’d suffered most of my life largely disappeared, and only reappeared when I ate a small portion of meat (yes, to test myself – very scientific!)

As a result of my brand spanking new vegetarian requirement, I started cooking a hell of a lot more, and discovered that I LOVED it. All of a sudden you could find me mixing my own spices, creating new dishes and making noodles from scratch. It’s honestly been like a series of revelations for me – I feel a slowly growing sense of confidence as I become more connected to myself and so much more nourished. I mustn’t avoid the topic of digestion here because it’s been so core to my altered outlook on food, and sorry if you’re sensitive to such matters, but since removing a food group that was causing me such distress (while supplementing my iron and protein of course!) I’ve found I’m poopin’ more regularly with no pain! Yep, I went there – but I’m all for normalising completely NORMAL body functions, naturally.

So, back to Nigella Lawson who I last saw devouring a cupcake dipped in raspberry sauce in the chiaroscuro light of a refrigerator. Thank you for serving your foodie talk with dollops of care and compassion while never failing to address the psychological aspects of eating. I find Nigella’s attitude refreshing, and much more ideal than the confused mess and mayhem of ideas towards food in the real world. Food really isn’t an enemy when I watch her show.

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

Natalie — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 02:15:24 +0000

Illness by sctag1015

This week is National Invisible Chronic Awareness Week in America, and even though I’m international I thought this questionaire would be helpful not only for myself, but for readers of my blog!

1. The illness(es) I live with are:
Type 1 diabetes (T1D), depression and anxiety with a little tendinitis (and arm cysts!) thrown in

2. I was diagnosed with it/them in the year:
T1D – 1998
Depression and anxiety – 2001
Tendinitis/ RSI – 2007

3. But I had symptoms since:
T1D – a few months before being diagnosed (generally you don’t let that shit slide or else you get dead!)
Depression and anxiety – since 1995
Tendinitis – since about 2005

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:
Having to interrupt my day to jab myself and eat on a schedule, being a slave to doctors (currently my beef is that they will only give me 1 repeat of insulin so I have to keep going back!)

My depression isn’t as severe as it used to be, I think learning coping mechanisms has helped me a lot in my day to day life. Surprisingly, my anxiety has been largely ignored by the doctors and shrinks so I’m still doing unproductive things like not answering calls from numbers I don’t recognise, putting my phone on silent for weeks on end, having trouble going outside by myself, etc.

I have to wear a wrist brace when I’m working, and if I really aggravate my arm I can’t work for days on end. It interrupts my workflow, and affects my ability to consistently earn money. It also makes me feel pathetic and useless when the pain is at its worst.

5. Most people assume:
I’m fat because I have type 2 diabetes. No. I’m probably fat because I give myself too much insulin, which results in fabulous to low Hb1ac levels (the coating of sugar on my blood cells) and weight gain. T1D sufferers who are very skinny (as a result of rapid weight loss, not natural body weight) likely have very high Hb1ac levels, which leads to diabetes complications like blindness and kidney disease. I will likely meet my end with a stroke or heart disease, maybe even an amputated limb.

People assume that I’m useless and aloof because of many of my anxiety symptoms. When I was a child and teen, people used to get so frustrated with my avoidance tactics and would reprimand me because I would refuse to call places when they asked me to, or because I was socially awkward.

When I wear a wrist brace out in public people are generally nicer and more helpful. Which is surprising considering when I had a bung foot going to Melbourne in December, I had to use a walking stick and some people were rude and inconsiderate. On the flight down, many of the families with children waiting to board encouraged me to get on the plane first but I was nearly bowled over by some impatient special snowflake who didn’t have any trouble walking, nor did he have children!

6. The hardest part about mornings is:
Having to wake up at a timely hour to have my insulin. If I don’t stick to a schedule, everything gets screwed around a bit.

7. My favorite medical TV show is:
I don’t really like watching the real life shows, but I like Scrubs.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:
Insulin pens :D

9. The hardest part about nights is:
Having hypos at 3am and having to get up and force carbs into my face when I don’t want to eat.

10. Each day I take [?] pills & vitamins.
I’m really bad with taking pills and/ or vitamins!! I’m lucky in that pills aren’t really a part of my health care regimen, even though a multi-vitamin probably wouldn’t hurt!

11. Regarding alternative treatments, I:
Certain people have tried to convince me that my diabetes can be cured with homeopathy and a raw vegan diet. Righteo!! If there was a bona-fide cure I’m sure I’d have a mailbox stuffed with excited proclamations from Diabetes Australia/ Queensland!

I want to get hypnotised and see if it helps my anxiety. I’m very curious about it because I have a few people close to me who have been helped by it.

I’ve tried a course of acupuncture for my tendinitis and while it provided short term relief for a matter of hours, it really wasn’t the relief I was looking for (IE: LONGTERM!)

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness and a visible one, I would choose:
I really have no experience having a visible illness, besides wearing a brace in public occasionally. I can’t conceive of a life without diabetes – sometimes when I have dinner with friends I find it strange that they don’t whip out their insulin pens and jab themselves when I do. Most of the time, people don’t even notice when I inject myself!

So yeh, short answer: I can’t choose, and I don’t know differently.

13. Regarding working and career:
Having hypos in the workplace can be very embarrassing sometimes, because a low blood sugar attack can make one look quite drunk and disoriented. Many workplaces I’ve been in I’ve had to simply wait until I could excuse myself to get sugar – which is completely unfair, I know.

Having an anxiety disorder and working has been challenging, but generally it has helped me confront things that I would have put in the “too hard” basket.

14. People would be surprised to know:
That I would be dead if insulin wasn’t on the PBS. It’s expensive as it is, but it’d be 20 times more expensive if it wasn’t subsidised by the government.

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality is:
I’m going to die younger than Nick and my friends.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness was:
Go overseas. I’m still not sure how I would manage it, with the time zone changes and what not… it’d royally screw up my insulin regimen.

17. The commercials about my illness:
There are very few commercials about T1D. Usually it’s scare tactics about T2D (which means that people assume I have T2D).

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed:
I miss not giving a shit about when I eat or what I eat.
I miss the strength I used to have in my wrist.

19. It was really hard to give up:
Smoking. I’m still weening myself off them and I’m not the type to get all sanctimonious about it. I actually really enjoyed smoking as a way to alleviate some of my anxiety!

20. A new hobby I’ve taken up since my diagnosis is:
I’m trying to do new things in my creative practice that don’t involve such intensive use of my wrist. Right now I’m making rosettes out of ties.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again, I would:
Go traveling and eating.

22. My illness has taught me:
How to be a control freak.

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say (about my illness) that gets under my skin is:
- XXXXX CURES DIABETES
- CAN YOU EAT THAT?

24. But I love it when people:
Look after me when I’ve had a hypo or panic attack. It makes me feel like less of a freak.

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:
I usually just say to myself that tomorrow will come like yesterday came, and pretty soon it’ll be next month. It really helps me feel like there will be a future when I think the world is going to end.

26. When someone is diagnosed I like to tell them:
Ask me anything.

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:
How little some medical professionals know. Like, when I’m in hospital getting hourly obs – THE NURSES ALWAYS COME IN AND PRICK THE TIP OF THE SAME DAMNED FINGER.

a) Don’t stick the tip or the pad of my fingers. There are helpful nerves in them! Lance the side of my fingers where there aren’t as many nerves to damage.
b) DIDN’T YOU DO ANATOMY AS PART OF YOUR TRAINING?
c) OW! That hurts! Rotate those injection sites.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was:
Get me orange juice or something similarly sugary. There’s no one time, it’s not a standalone occurrence, but my friends and loved ones always know what to do!

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because:
I never really considered that I have invisible illnesses, but I do. I always like to imagine I’m a normal person, but I’m not. That’s a delusion that healthy people don’t have to suffer.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:
Thankful and a little weirded out, considering this blog is so public! But I think it’s important to talk about our health, especially about depression and anxiety.

Disclaimer of sorts: This awareness week was started by a Christian ministry, and while I am an atheist I think it’s important to make people aware of chronic invisible illnesses. I also think it’s important to treat them with medical science, not just prayer – like in the case of the diabetic 11 year old who died because her Christian parents refused her medical treatment, preferring to pray for her healing rather than providing her treatment.
/controversy

Catching up: Bridge to Brisbane etc!

Natalie — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 23:27:26 +0000

I just realised I forgot to update y’all with my Bridge to Brisbane debriefing! You can watch the end of this video to see my footage, as well as things that fill my heart with glee.

You can see that I was true to my word, and wore a tutu! Nick and I are totally going to participate in more fun runs from now on but I think I enjoyed it a little more than him. He brought up the rear, finishing a whole 4 or so seconds after me! I would like to step up my pace next time – a few of the #btub crew participated in the B2B so it was more of a social dawdle.

If you want to support my fundraising for JDRF, you’ve only got a couple of weeks to donate before they close my page. Go here now to donate! I’ve raised over $100 so far which is more than I’ve ever raised for anything in my life, but considering that my target was $1000 it seems kind of paltry!

Last week was insanely busy, and one of the highlights (of my LIFE) was seeing Aimee Mann at the Powerhouse! I never thought I’d get the chance to see her come to Australia, but I’m glad to be proven wrong! She was fantastic! If you haven’t heard her music, go out and buy all her albums. Her music has pretty much been the soundtrack to the last decade of my life :D

Help me find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes!

Natalie — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 01:20:54 +0000

Hope: Diabetes Supplies Art by Manny Hernandez

I was diagnosed at 17 with Juvenile Diabetes (now commonly known as Type 1 Diabetes because onset isn’t strictly confined to childhood) and this year marks my 11th year living with the condition. Last week Nick and I decided to take part in the Bridge to Brisbane fun run as part of the #BTUB group, and we also decided to raise money for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) in the lead up to the event.

Despite many T1D people being promised a cure a decade ago, it’s still no where near materialised. Type 1 also seems to get lost in all the press releases and scare mongering about diabetes, when they’re actually referring to Type 2! As a result, a lot of misconceptions abound about these two groups of sufferers and I have a horrible feeling that funds are being channeled away from research for a T1 cure as well.

If you’d like to donate to my fundraising effort for JDRF, I really, really, really appreciate it. In very real ways. It’s not just that I have to stab myself x times a day: it’s feeling like I’m a freak, having to discretely inject when I’m out, explaining why I have sharps in my bag when I fly (with a medical certificate!), and always being prepared for the possibility that my blood sugar might go low at the most inopportune of times (I’ve lost jobs in the past because I’ve had a hypo during phone calls or interviews)!

You can donate here via my Everyday Hero page and help the JDRF find a cure. I’m aiming for AUD$1000 – eep! Thank you SO SO much for supporting a cause that I have such a personal investment in :)