Shaving unwanted bodily hair has been an act of femininity I’ve been performing since I was 13 or 14 years old. At the time I wanted to shave my legs like the other girls, because those who didn’t were teased and considered masculine or ape-like. Fitting in was important, but very quickly the novelty of having to drag a razor up and down my legs, under my arms and along my bikini line wore off. I soon discovered just exactly how long it took for my hair to grow back; the ways in which I could cheat and get away without removing my hair and still pass for feminine; the pain of nicking my skin with a sharp razor; and the obscene wastefulness of this regime.
Women who did not shave were rare in my teenage years, and they were labeled “hippies” or “ferals” or “lesbians” – always something derogatory, completely hetero-normative and in keeping with the masculine/ feminine paradigm. The femininity of these women was called into question, something shocking and unfathomable to young ladies who were only ankle deep in their womanly conditioning. Women who didn’t shave were also seen as smelly, lazy and anti-social; and in my early teen years even if I did question this bizarre practice of removing naturally occurring hair, I certainly didn’t want to be seen as unfeminine or stinky. Even more telling, self-identified feminists who refused to remove body hair were seen as bad, ugly and undesirable. By the time I got to my early 20s, I was just about fed up with having to shave my legs in order to wear a skirt but I still performed the act of hair removal because I feared rejection not just by romantic partners, but by society.
Recently I attempted to stop participating in the act of hair removal. I knew that it was on the list of Things To Do In Order To Be A Proper Female, and that it was a convention drummed into me by the media and my socialisation within middle class society. Being sensitive to packaging waste, I could see the sheer amount of packaging, handles, razor blades, and tubes and tubs of depilatory cream and wax that I’d ever used in my life would probably fill a small car. It didn’t seem right. I still kept it up. Perhaps not every day, but certainly when I was going out in public. I’d ask Nick if he minded that my legs were fuzzy, and every time he’d say he didn’t. Why was I even asking him? It’s my body!
When I saw a segment about razor blades on The Gruen Transfer (Season 3, Episode 8) I knew I had to find a moment to reflect on my body hair removal conditioning. I’m still so fearful of going out in public with hairy legs that I shaved about six months worth of perfectly natural leg hair off last week so I could go socialise with fashion people without wondering if they were secretly bitching about me being the fat, hairy lady!!
So let’s have a look at an ad that could be why we’re so caught up in removing body hair, even if we don’t want to:
When sleeveless dresses became fashionable, marketers saw an opportunity to make something perfectly natural unfashionable. This ad was published in Harper’s Bazaar in 1915 and according to The Gruen Transfer sales of hair removal products went through the roof – razorblade sales alone doubled in two years. Todd Sampson, one of the ad industry panelists, said it best:
Create the problem and make [people] feel self-conscious and have issues with self esteem when it comes to hair and then we solve that problem with a razor.
Surely, this can’t be a revelation to any of us in the western world. We know that advertisers and marketers create problems within our bodies and our lives, even if they are perfectly natural and normal bodies and lives, and then they offer a magical product to solve our new problems. Apply it anywhere, it’s the same old trick. Hand sanitisers, home scents, any product you see on Australian morning TV… we’re whipped into a frenzy of insecurity that can only be relieved with the topical application of a specific, ridiculous, product. The issue with hair removal is that it’s not ridiculous to us anymore because the tradition is so ingrained. Even if that tradition was manufactured within living memory!
Body hair isn’t unhealthy, dirty or gross so its objectionableness is a pretty laughable thing. Hair protects the skin from the elements, and it also serves as a barrier to prevent friction. Even people who insist that underarm hair contributes to body odor are incorrect. Underarm hair wicks perspiration away from the skin, so the bacteria that do produce odor can not form.
Even though I had a lapse, I’m going back to letting all the hair on my body grow naturally. It was actually a really interesting experience living with body hair. When I wanted to wear a short skirt or dress, I’d put on leggings to cover my leg hair. I was aware the shame wasn’t actually my own, that it was being projected on me by external factors, but I still felt the need to cover up. On windy days when I was bare legged, I felt the breeze actually lift individual hairs. It was curious and it was disturbing because in all my years of performing femininity I’d never experienced such a thing. I feel a little funny even writing about the experience so publicly, because I’m sure many women would find it unfathomable and gross. But no, I didn’t feel gross, it was very much like I had extra parts of my body with which I was able to sense and experience. Over 15 years of shaving had meant I’d never even noticed such a thing!
How do you feel about your body hair? What keeps you in the habit of removing it, or if you don’t, have you ever experienced being de-feminised? Is this topic an uncomfortable one for you? (It is somewhat discomforting to discuss it so publicly for me!)
I struggled with the yes or no of removing body hair for years. Last year I stopped removing most of my body hair – I do still pluck my eyebrows because I prefer how they look trimmed and thinned. It’s scary at first and even now sometimes I contemplate shaving, but there’s also something daring about it all.
I’ve never shaved my legs, my Mum said it was a pain in the arse and that I shouldn’t start…so I didn’t! I’ve never felt societal pressure to shave them, but then again I was raised in a household that took pride in non-conformist behaviour!
I shave my legs and underarms, but not with any regularity. I shave my underarms because I do find that I get sweatier in my armpits if the hair there is longer – but I don’t do it often. I shave my legs because I like the feeling of smooth legs and clean sheets. Again, I’m not regular in this habit, but I definitely do it – perhaps every few weeks?
My armpit hair is quite dark and coarse, and I don’t like how it looks. Maybe this is something that society has made me believe, but aesthetically I just don’t like it. As it happens I don’t often wear tops without sleeves, so it’s about whether I like the look of it, not others. Leg hair is not nearly as dark/coarse so unless someone was quite close to my legs they woudln’t even see it, so it’s more about sensuality than appearance there.
I didn’t remove any body hair until I was in my 20s. Then I moved to Sydney and suddenly felt the need to. I have never shaved, and never will. I do wax sometimes though. I average probably 2-3 times a year.
Sometimes I don’t mind my body hair at all. I quite like my underarm hair in fact. And the only issue I have with the leg hair is skirts, because even I, who was a “hippy” and was lucky enough to grow up in an area where it wasn’t completely unusual to have hair, question how skirts and hairy look. On me. I love it on others. Or at least, I love the though on others. To be honest, it isn’t something that I notice. So.. if I don’t notice, why should other people?
It’s funny you should post this now, it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past week or so. I haven’t shaved my legs for the past…god, maybe 6 months? I honestly cannot remember the last time I did. Out of pure laziness, I’ll admit.
I get the “Ewww, omg that’s so gross!” from my younger sister, and have tried explaining the role of advertising etc as factors in why she thinks that way, and have also yelled “YOU WOULDN’T SAY THAT IF I WAS A GUY!”, but she doesn’t seem to want to think about it any differently.
I’ve been shaving under my arms less lately, I guess because I’m thinking differently about the ‘hygiene’ aspect of that.
I don’t know, I feel like it’s a behaviour that’s not presented as a ‘choice’ to young females. And I think that the fact that NOT shaving is an option just never occurs to most women. It’s something a lot of people just accept as an inherent part of being/identifying as female.
At first I wanted to say you are brave, but I am not sure that is the correct word. After all, making a decision based on your convictions should simply be an act, not necessarily bravery.
Yes, in answer to your question. This subject does make me very uncomfortable as it comes with so much personal significance. Not at shaving my legs or underarms, but shaving my face. Letting my leg hair wave in the breeze is easy for me, even with all thoughts of consumerism and feminism aside. With my face though, it is never going to happen. Even when faced with a coma, my sister and I have a plan in place how to deal with this!
The identity that I am comfortable with does not have a beard and I have no desire to push any gender boundaries. Others’ may feel differently and that is their choice. Obviously I wish it was not even an issue for me:(
Thankyou for you openness Natalie.
I only ever shave in summer and then when I can be bothered. I’ve never had enough underarm hair to bother about it. As for girlie bit shaving or waxing, I find it gross and wrong to want to look pre-pubescent!
Interesting post. I was actually thinking about this myself recently, about the things women go through to be “feminine”. I remember being 14 and called “Magilla Gorilla” at school because I was yet to start shaving under my arms. I begged my mother to let me start and she finally relented. So I started shaving my legs and under my arms and have been doing so ever since. In winter I usually go a week or two without, but in summer I do it every couple of days. I do have very dark, coarse body hair thanks to a double-whammy Maori and Mediterranean heritage, and so I feel my body hair is very noticeable and I feel much better when I get rid of it, although whether this is conditioned in is an interesting question.
What I also find interesting is that it’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve started paying more attention to other hairy bits such as my eyebrows or bikini line. I literally went for YEARS without caring about either of those things, but once I started caring I couldn’t stop.
With Summer rearing its head, this is an issue that will be at the forefront of my mind. I don’t think I’m ready to stop my hair removal regime just yet though.
I shave my armpits because I notice if I don’t I sweat more. I shave my legs maybe once a month in the winter, usually a bit more often in summer and I do it because I personally like the feeling of cleanly shaved legs once in a while. I’m not really worried about whether or not people are going to notice my hairy legs if I wear a skirt and no tights.
This might be a bit TMI but my biggest concern about body hair is pubic hair. I feel like there is a expectation from most guys (particularly guys who are teenage/early 20s) for women to never have pubic hair and this assumption that it’s gross or unsanitary. I suppose we have porn to blame for younger men expecting this but I really, really hate it. It makes me really happy to see someone like Sasha Grey who actually has pubes, it’s so rare to actually see a naked woman with pubic hair these days!
I don’t shave my armpits, I stopped when my ex lover and I parted ways and I wanted to try and see if I could grow it out and braid it (I tried I can’t) during this period of time I hooked up with my current beau and just before we were about to do it I warned him I wasn’t shaving my armpits as an experiment he said something along the lines of “well I’m not going to f**k your armpits” with the exception of occasional modelling job I no longer shave my pits any more, my armpit hair is straight fine and minimises sweating and odour
as for my legs I have a sparse but black and coarse bad of hair that grows from just above my ankle to my mid calve It’s odd looking so it gets epilated every couple of months
As for my facial hair I still undertake brow, lip and chin every month or so
Though I often hear people say they find hair on women’s bodies gross, I’ve never actually heard anyone comment on anyone’s leg or pit hair (irl) directly. I’ve stopped regularly shaving since two years and though admittedly my leg hair is pretty blonde, my pit hair is dark and wild and the only thing I ever heard about it was ‘oh, you don’t shave?’, to which I reply, ‘not regularly’ and then we all shrug simultaneously. Yet, this kind of demoting of hairy women is still rampant in random convos. It boggles me how we’ve been lead to believe women’s body hair is gross, but male body hair is acceptable, yet a lot of people do not see the double standard. When did this belief actually start?
People hardly noticing my body hair, and my girlfriends encouraging me to grow it have really made this stigma disappear to me (in time). The stigma has disintegrated so completely even that I am not really sure if shaving or not shaving is a feminist act or not any more. It is definitely a ridiculous current beauty ideal but it’s not limited to women any more, and I don’t find it oppressive (especially compared to old ideals such as foot binding and new ideals such as cutting off one’s labia etc.). Though that may have something to do with my open-minded social circle and seeing my mother only shave exactly once a year. To me it has become simply intertwined with laziness. I only shave these days occasionally during winter because I always wear tights and it kinda hurts my leg hair (does that make sense?) and as a part of a very infrequent pampering ritual. I’ve kind of given up on shaving pit hair because I think that’s pretty on women (also : everyone).
Also, I need to comment on the sensation of feeling your leg hair blow in the wind, all mighty and free. IT IS ONE OF THE BEST FEELINGS EVER. (capslock needed)
I started shaving my legs at twelve or so because I was on swim team and everyone, including the guys, did it to reduce drag. I would’ve shaved my arms too except the first time I tried I got ingrown hairs and my mum noticed and made me stop. I haven’t shaved my legs in a couple months now. I still shave under my arms. Started shaving my crotch because it embarrassed me that it poked out of my swimsuit, continued because it’s fucking itchy if I let it grow back to any degree. Not because I want to look pre-pubescent (like I could with my tits and ass), but thanks for the judging kathryn!
Cat, I know what you mean about freshly shaved legs on sheets! It is a gorgeous feeling.
I’m sitting here writing this with hairy legs! Pretty sure I’ve only shaved once or twice this winter but more so because I just didn’t want to spend that extra time standing in the shower with my already screwed back sending bolts of pain through my body every time I bent, twisted or turned.
Body hair for me is another non issue (along with fat/not fat), couldn’t really care less if someone shaves or not. I do however prefer the feel of smooth skin on myself, particularly with freshly shaven legs jumping into fresh bed sheets!
hmmm….this is a tough topic. but to answer the questions you posed at the end:
I don’t particularly like my body hair. I don’t hate it, but I feel itchy and uncomfortable when I don’t shave. Which brings me to why I keep removing it- I’m more comfortable with less hair. I have skin problems and it seems the extra exfoliation from the razor is actually soothing to my perpetually flaky skin. If I shave every day I don’t get itchy and scaley (sorry if that’s tmi.)…and I even shave my arms for this reason. Some days I wish I could shave my head so that my scalp wouldn’t be itchy! But that’s where I draw the line.
and last- few topics are uncomfortable for me:)
oh and…I remember the feeling of individual hairs moving in the wind…and that extra sense they give you…you are not alone!It was pretty cool,lol.
That’s an interesting topic. I personally shave/use cream on my legs because I am really hairy and I truly hate the feeling of hair there. But I totally respect people who don’t shave. The “funniest” part is that hair seems to be a nono for men too. It’s really rare that you see a model with chest hair. It’s like it’s not considered manly anymore.
That’s an interesting topic. I personally shave/use cream on my legs because I am really hairy and I truly hate the feeling of hair there. But I totally respect people who don’t shave. The “funniest” part is that hair seems to be a nono for men too. It’s really rare that you see a model with chest hair. It’s like it’s not considered manly anymore.
I always remove leg/underarm/private area hair because I personally feel a lot nicer when I do. I hate getting into bed & feeling my own leg hair against my other leg. This is my personal stance & I think that each person should be entitled to their own. Good luck in sticking to your new convicitons! You will sure save a whole lot of time & money!
I freely admit that I worry about what people will say and think if they see my hairy legs and underarms. I wish I didn’t. Being of swarthy, very dark haired stock means five o’clock shadow the next day after I shave. But if I let the hair grow, it seems to get really itchy and I break out in a rash? Annoying.
I used to get teased about the hairs on my arms and called a gorilla. I also remember when I broke my leg in grade 8, I had a full cast, up to my thigh. It eventually went to a calf cast and the amount of hair (CURLY) under the exposed bits was kind of amazing. I got teased about it when I went back to school and shaved it that afternoon.
So, I guess a part of me is still that 12 year old girl, worried about being teased for the dark hairs on her legs.
I remove my body hair because I actually tend to be a bit BO-ish when I let it grow under my armpits and because I use a natural deodorant which come in block form (from Lush which is pretty fantastic with or without hair) I want to prevent as much “Dim SIm’ smell from seeping through as possible. Plus it makes it easier to apply the block deodorant when it’s all nice and smooth under there. I don’t wax my arms at all – just leave them as is, I don’t have a ‘Mo’ or any stomach or lower back hair (and for a half Maltese, half Italian that’s amazing) and I remove my leg hair because I tend to get ingrown hairs if I don’t – used to be a serious problem when I was a kid. And downsairs is ala naturale as there’s not a forest down there at all…
And in truth I’ve justy never liked it – even on guys. A little bit on the male population = ok. A lot = um no thanks babe. Not a fan of the hair – I don’t like the sensation for some reason, yet nails on a chalkboard – no problems there :|
However as I’m currently undergoing chemo, hair in general isn’t such a huge problem as there’s not much of it left…
I totally felt the same way when I first started shaving, initially so excited and then it so quickly became such a chore. Of course I kept up with it though because that’s what society dictates, and now that I’m 29 I look back with amazement at the absurd stuff I’ve done and ideas I’ve bought in the pursuit of femininity. Aside from what was seen in the media/fashion, cleanliness was something that was pretty drummed into me in terms of shaving under my arms, why I didn’t even question the fact that men didn’t have to and it didn’t make them unclean or dirtier seems odd to me now. My lesbian aunt (argh! society was right, it is the lesbians who don’t shave!!11!) didn’t shave and while her reasons made sense to me, I also didn’t want to be different like she was.
The more aware I became of the reasons behind hair removal, the idea that those who are hairless and therefor more attractive also mirror the body of very young girls, and that in some tribal cultures body hair was the indicator that someone was sexually available (ironic/gross that in light of that hairlessness is generally considered more sexually appealing) – the less I could stomach it all. Combined with the waste I was creating the idea of stopping made more and more sense. And so I did, for awhile. I went for one summer without shaving under my arms, but shaving my legs because I like the feel of it personally but this summer I started shaving again. I’m not totally sure why, but like you mentioned I get scared of social rejection. It’s amazing how strongly years of social conditioning of how to be female from the media effects us. Even armed with all that knowledge, it’s so hard to make a change.
I don’t really think it’s wrong or right to shave, or not. Especially because even if I don’t shave, I still perform femininity in other ways, and I’m happy in that. However I do think this conversation is important because while of course its everyone’s personal choice what they do to their body, it is important to question why we do the things we do and not just accept that there is only one way of being. Especially when a whole lot of the things we do have their roots in some rather disturbing ideas.
Great post!
I shave my armpits because it’s like ten seconds of work, but I hate shaving my legs. I still do it when I want to wear a skirt, go swimming or expect to be pantsless around somebody. So far the only personal gain that doesn’t have to do with external factors is that my legs dry faster from the shower without hair. Otherwise, I hope to run into a partner who doesn’t give a crap about hair.
What I really want to know more about, though, is how fat women deal with hair in areas that are hard to reach when you’re fat. (i.e. bikini line)
The only way for me to prevent body odor from armpits (and other places) is to shower regularly. I doubt a lack of hair contributes anything in that matter.
I like my body hair; when I shave my legs, it feels like they’re numb because I lost the sensitivity of the hairs on it. I do think the dark hair on pale skin is ugly, but I doubt how much of that opinion is mine and how much of it is conditioned by society’s current phobia of body hair.
I just tend to remove it because this city is a fucking oven and I can’t stand the heat. However, as a lazer hair removal survivor (I went that far! So much money wasted!), it takes about 2-3 weeks until I’m hairy enough not to stand it. Basically I only do armpits, legs, mustache, and a bit of pubes trimming for practical sex reasons (TMI SO?). However, I have never done my arms because I’ve got the right to bear arms (see what I did there? ;)) and it’s not bothersome at all. But now, typing this right after reading your article, I wonder why, if it doesn’t bother me to have hairy arms, does it bother me to have hairy armpits or legs? Is it just because those places tend to be more covered in clothes and get hotter and sweatier? Or is it something else, something psychological?
My partner finds me attractive with and without body hair, and he actually adores my hairy arms; although it’s none of his business really. People don’t tease me about body hair because they’re used to my big, IDGAF, feminist, crazy self; maybe because they’ve finally “given up” on me conforming to certain standards. But what about me and my opinion about my own body hair? Your article is going to make me ponder for a while. Thank you so much.
When I was 11 or 12, I begged my parents for a razor and shaving cream in order to feel like I “fit in” with the rest of the girls that were my age. As I continued through my teens and young adulthood, I continued shaving every single shower. It was ritualistic, and I felt very grown up.
When I was 22, I stayed at my mother’s house during a vacation home. My mother called me over as I was headed to the shower with my razor. She looked at my legs and said “I am so envious of you. You don’t need to shave.” I asked what she meant, and she said that my leg hair was blonde, so why was I doing it? I looked down and realised she was right – I’d been shaving for A DECADE even though I had no leg hair to speak of!
All of my body hair is extremely light blonde and barely noticeable even in direct light. Yet due to social pressure, I had been doing this unnecessary maintenance every time I showered for ten full years without even thinking about it.
Currently, I shave my armpits and delapitory cream my bikini line as needed (every 2-3 showers), but those are purely personal preference (I feel uncomfortable and sweaty when I have hair in either place – and tend to sweat a lot more). I’m now almost 27, and have shaved my legs maybe twice in the last five years since my “revelation”. I realise my experience is likely different from most due to the colour of my body hair, but I still have had people I’ve dated recoil in horror when I told them I never shaved my legs — up until they saw them. It is sad what women are expected to do to conform to a specific beauty ideal.
While I totally support any woman’s decision to do whatever the hell she wants with any aspect of her body, I gotta say, I’ve never felt more judged than when I decided to shave whilst living in amidst a radical feminist/queer community.
If you want to shave, but you’re concerned about wastage, I deeply recommend an old-school style safety razor which uses actual razor blades instead of plastic handle/disposable blade combos. Real razor blades last far longer than the disposable crap sold as razors now, and while it takes a bit of effort to get used to using them, I’ve actually had far fewer cuts/nicks using them than modern razors.
I generally let my leg hair grow in the winter. I am single and have been for a few years now and since no one was there to complain about it I just let it grow. I do however shave my underarms often I can’t stand the feeling of hair there. I am sure now that it’s getting close to fall here I will be letting my leg hair grow again. I was never one to shave my bikini area just cus that really bothers me. women SHOULD have hair there only girls are bare in that area. Yes I have dated many men who like the bare look and seriously it bugs me and I have talked about it with them and they still won’t budge on that but then I have also dated those who like hair. Not that I do it for guys generally but not having to shave is freakin awesome lol I get out of the shower so much quicker.
I like the look of hair on women but I personally can’t stand the stuff under my arms. Like one person, I LOATHE the heat and hair there bothers the crap outta me. I barely move all summer for fear of fainting in the humidity. I don’t do my legs or arms or anywhere else, it’s all there and if someone doesn’t like it, don’t look. Hubs doesn’t care one way or another but then it’s my bod and my self image and I’m feeling fine the way I am.
Like one of the other commenters, I also (at least partially) started shaving with regularity because I was on a swim team. I was about 8 years old when I started swimming, and this was also when I hit puberty. I had pubes, pit hair and dark leg hair in grade three. I kept shaving because I wanted to look like a little girl again and not draw attention to the fact that my body was changing way earlier than my peers.
I stopped shaving for a year or so in high school in accordance with my “non conformist” attitude and social standing. I started again a few years later because quite simply, I like how it looks and I am comfortable with that level of femininity performance. I just shave my pits, calves and pluck rogue facial hairs. I stopped shaving my thighs and bikini line because I have not found a way to combat the horrible ingrown hairs I get in those places. But I do get them waxed occasionally.
I have no problem with body hair on women, and in fact I believe it looks nice, however it’s not for me. As for shaving for your partner, I see no problem with that. Whether our preferences are shaped by the conventions and climate we grow up in or not, it’s difficult to intellectualize them. I prefer a clean shaven man and reasonably well dressed and groomed man, so I generally return the favour.
I have an excessive amount of body hair (thanks very much PCOS) and I’m much hairier than many blokes, it’s also jet black for some reason! I have friends who have very light growth and it looks great. For some reason my hair is long, black, and really really thick and feral.
I grew out my armpit hair for a few months and developed the worst fungal infection of my life (cracked and bleeding skin, pus, the lot!) that took 6 months to fix. I couldn’t keep it dry without toxic chemicals and the hairs got caught in the deodorant ball. Unfortunately, go “au naturale” smell wise wasn’t an option as I worked in a very posh office.
I get what you’re saying, and embrace women who can do it, but I can’t be one of them. I feel much worse with a hairy body. I get the feeling that you can be fat and have acne (as I do) but if you’re fat, have acne and are hairy all over then it’s just too much for people to cope with. One day I may be strong enough, but not today.
Wow, why do so many people say hair or dark hair or lots of hair looks ugly, and never never mention what they think of MEN with hair? Because it’s all about what’s considered pretty for women-shaped bodies. Okay, sure, but acknowledge that you’ve bought into a certain gendered idea of beauty, yeah? Rather than pretend it’s some abstract objection to all hair below the neck. And also, saying “I don’t see how anyone could find X hair comfortable” NEVER seems to come with wondering how men “cope” with it!
I go through stages I guess. It’s no something i’m anal about. I tend to not shave my legs during winter, I’m always wearing stockings/leggings/pants, so only my boyfriend & I know it’s there. I have very fine leg hair anyway that you don’t notice it unless you really go looking for it. My underarms I shave more often then not & yes, it’s everything to do with what other people think. I don’t mind underarm hair, but I don’t have the confidence to rock it, I admire any female who does. I pluck my eyebrows, I like them to look neat & I get the odd hair on my chin due to PCOS that I pluck.
I’ve never done the scorched earth bush removal, I don’t truck with that myself. I’m lazy as all hell in winter about shaving my legs and underarms because it’s extra warmth, right? But I like the feel of my newly shaved, pale flabby calves against cool cotton sheets on a hot summer night (yeah baby). I also really love that feeling of wind shifting the hairs on my legs in summer. I will shave my underarms in summer because it’s gingery and tends to shed in weird clumps and gets caught in my bra and pulls. That was eye-wateringly annoying! :p
I have always thought not shaving during winter etc was ‘lazy’ and ‘unladylike’. When I realised at the age of about… 25? that actually it was just because I wanted to do it my own way? Total load offa mah mind.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I have for years refused to shave my hair because, “I was made with each hair rightfully in its place. Why should I remove it for society’s standards?”
I stopped shaving my legs years ago and instead use an epilator. this means that leg hair grows back much slower, so I don’t have to do it all that often. In winter I don’t do it at all, thanks to tights and pants etc, but in summer I try to keep the pins hair free. I don’t really care when I’ve go hairy legs (and neither does hubby) but I must admit to really liking the silky smooth feeling when I do epilate. Underarms only get done if I’m going swimming (which is rare). I’ve got much bigger issues when it comes to facial hair. I can’t cope with that and get my face waxed every 5-6 without fail.
Wonderful! Youre inspiring. Ive been rather wishy washy with my hair removal. Sometimes I will remove it before wearing skirts, but other times I dont. I have to say, I feel just as beautiful either way. So more power to the people who choose to do what they want! Hair is beautiful!
Do what you want with your own body hair, but I find the feminist argument fr not shaving difficult to swallow in the context of someone who regularly blogs about mainstream (albeit bigger) female fashion. Skirts and dresses are just as gender-normative, and the disposable fashion of now is far more wasteful and contributory to oppression (where do you think most of your Asos/Evans/City Chic purchases originate?).
For the record I both remove hair and wear skirts & dresses from chain stores. But the irony of your post does not sit well with me.
I’ve done the no-hair thing, and I’ve done the hair thing. And these days I swing comfortably between them depending on how I feel and what I want to wear.
I actually quite like my underarm hair when I let it grow. Can’t explain my fascination with it, but it’s really a little pleasure. (If I’m weird, I’m okay with that :D ). But when I’m getting dressed up, I tend to wear things that are a little bit fetish-y – corsetry and so on – and hairless skin seems to go with that, to some extent (but I think that’s also quite true of males, so I don’t really feel like I’m buying in to some kind of standardised ‘feminine’ there).
I really couldn’t give a rat’s arse any more if people see my hairy legs. Sometimes I shave them, if I want to wear something I think would look odd with a lot of leg hair (like fishnets, maybe). I like the way shaved skin feels, so sometimes I’ll shave my legs just because I like the feel of it. But I feel pretty good about being able to say I do it for myself rather than anyone else. I don’t need to depilate to fit in, I don’t need to be hairy to make a point. Yanno? (Not that I’m suggesting that anyone who leaves their body hair alone is necessarily making a point).
Okay, so now you all know my depilatory habits. Hurrah!
I’m a bit lazy. I’ll shave my pits if its gonna look like I’m wearing a short sleeved top out of the house. I have the same philosophy about my legs but they never get seen. I’m more uncomfortable about why I don’t like people seeing my legs than the hair.
Overall it works out to shaving my legs maybe twice a year and my pits about 4 times a year.
I’m a bit lazy. I’ll shave my pits if its gonna look like I’m wearing a short sleeved top out of the house. I have the same philosophy about my legs but they never get seen. I’m more uncomfortable about why I don’t like people seeing my legs than the hair.
Overall it works out to shaving my legs maybe twice a year and my pits about 4 times a year.
I am actually going to do a post on plus-size women and waxing. I got a twitter DM from someone asking if I feel self-conscious about getting waxed because of all the extra… well, fat. To be honest, I LOVE getting waxed. For myself, rather than anyone else. I did it when I was single and I do it now I am in a couple. I wear tights a lot in the UK so it is barely something I even have to do due to societal pressure – but I like it. I actually find it relaxing and it makes me feel refreshed. And, I’m an “all-off” kind of girl.
I never judge people who make the opposite choice from me. To be honest, I sometimes let my armpit hair grow quite long before getting rid of it. I have an affection for it actually – like, it’s SUPPOSED to be there. But then I do feel refreshed too, when I remove it.
I think hair and removal should be a very personal thing. I know manscaping is now also very common and from the men who I know that do it, it is about feeling lighter and groomed. I have to admit, I find men’s chests weird to look at when they are waxed. I wonder how far society pressure will go though before most of society – male or female are like hairless cats.
I like that there will be a couple of fury lovers still about. x.
I’m with catdraco here — I tend to let my sense of occasion dictate my shaving choices. My partner (male) seems to care more about his bodily follicle management than I did mine. I tend to wax once or twice in summer just for the feel and the pamper, but I live in a world of black pants and blouses so the onset of hair is less noticeable.
i shave my legs about once in the winter, and once a month in the summer. i shave my pits about once a month year round. i trim my “down there” hair because i’m not a fan of invasive feminine hygiene products. mostly my shaving coincides with a need to be really, really, skin scrapingly clean. it’s also the time i exfoliate like crazy. no one really comments on my hairyness or hairlessness. i remove facial hair through personal preferance.
I have so many contradicting opinions on hair removal. I get my mo waxed, pluck stray chin hairs and my eyebrows and in the middle of summer, I freak out about if I have one single hair on my legs. In winter, however, I don’t give a toss about having hairy legs or armpits. Sometimes my husband makes a Chewbacca joke but it doesn’t really bother him or me.
To further complicate matters, I am very opinionated on my right to have hairy arms and am also completely against brazilian and triple x waxes (however I’ve had my bikini line waxed numerous times). The only person who has really commented on my arms is my mother. In my adolescence, I was embarrassed enough to attempt shaving them but quickly realised that was a monumentally stupid idea. So I bleached for a while instead, but now I’m at the point that I really don’t care anymore about who knows that I have hairy arms. If only I could adopt that approach to my legs and my facial hair.
I used to shave legs and pits semi-regularly and bikini line whenever swimming was on the cards. Then I got lazy, and started wearing boardshorts. My husband has always declared he doesn’t care whether there is hair or not and I’ve been with him for almost 22 years so I’ve never felt any pressure one way or another from that direction. These days I shave my legs maybe once or twice a year and then not above the knee and my pits maybe 3 times a year if I happen to feel like it. I wear shorts and sleeveless tops irrespective of whether I’ve shaved or not. Admittedly this is made easier, in the sense of not challenging societal norms much, by the fact that you have to get pretty close to my legs to tell that there’s hair there.
I do quite like the feel of freshly shaven legs, but not so much that I can be bothered to do it regularly and I’m pretty neutral about my body hair in general, it’s just part of me, I don’t feel any particular need to do anything about it.
I’m more interested now in how to negotiate the hair question with my almost 12 year old daughter. She has at least one friend who already shaves her legs and being a dancer (ballet, jazz and hip hop) I know it’s going to become an issue eventually. I suppose it will just be a matter of having conversations that help her to understand the context in which women make choices about body hair and doing the helpful and supportive mum thing about whatever she chooses to do.
Actually, I’m already doing the same with my 13 year old son. He’s got a fairly noticeable proto-mustache happening and when my mum asked me if he was going to start shaving I instinctively responded by saying “He can shave if he wants to but I’m not going to be pressuring him into it or even bringing the subject up.” So apparently I’m an equal opportunity body & facial hair autonomy proponent.
I gave up shaving my armpits and legs a few months ago, after being on and off with it for a year, and it’s great! It seems that promoting women removing natural body hair is one of the many ways in which women are being told their bodies are WRONG just for…being how they are, naturally, and creating a phobia of one’s own body being percieved in its natural state. Also, it’s another mode of crippling women financially; siphoning off the, already lower, wages of women by promoting all these ‘must-have!’ products, which, as you say, are also hugely wasteful!
There’s an advert for an epilator which presents it as ‘Saving YOU time and money!’ The idea that NOT removing you body hair saves you most time and money is not considered by the media, which, perhaps, implies, they might be biased?
Nobody has ever made an issue of my body hair; one of my exes, when I apologised for my mass of pubic hair, just shrugged, grabbed his own, and said ‘What’s the problem?’
Sometimes I shave; sometimes I don’t. I’m inconsistent. I do shave to appease other people – society – because I swim quite regularly. I know it’s to appease other people when I do it. My (male) partner and I often swim at his parents’ pool, too, and they’d be shocked. I shave my bikini line (quite a lot, actually, which is one part personal preference and one part my partner’s preference, and he does a lot of shaving/manscaping, too, so okay), my legs, and my armpits. I don’t tweeze or wax my eyebrows, and I’ve never done anything to my arm hair.
I’m fair-haired, so even if I do feel the pressure to shave, I don’t feel pressure to do it often. I shave my armpits and bikini line most frequently, the former because I find armpit hair itchy, the latter because the growing-in stage is always itching and irritating. (Also, I’m fat, and I find that a very trim bikini line helps reduce chafing/chub rub in the summer.) I should mention that the fairly-thorough (i.e. most of it) bikini shaving is a pretty new development. I’ve been with the same primary partner for fourteen years (sometimes monogamous, sometimes not) and it’s only within the last year that I’ve done much regular bikini-line shaving.
I can go a couple of weeks before my leg hair becomes noticeable to someone who isn’t up close to it.
In the winter, I often go for weeks or months without shaving my armpits or legs, but I eventually do start again, either because of itchiness (dry skin + cold climes + leg hair = a goddamn lot of itching, for me), or because my leg hairs are getting really caught up in my tights and they start pulling. Maybe this is a curly hair thing? I like to wear skirts and dresses year-round, and in winter (Canadian) this means tights are an absolute necessity.
I’m not at all squicked by the look of body hair on other people. My partner has never complained or criticized me for any quantity or location of body hair, but he definitely prefers a smoother look and feel, and I admit that I love the feeling of my legs, just-shaved and -moisturized.
I try to shave infrequently so as to minimize waste.
I gotta disagree about the odour thing. Well, personally at least. If I shave or not, I get a residue of smell, that seems to cling to the hair or the root of it. If I wax or tweeze the hairs, I get no odor and almost no need for deoderant.
As for hair removal in general, I wish I had never been pressured into shaving my legs as a teen because I was basically hairless anyway and the hair I had was that nearly transparent body hair. Now my hair grows back much thicker and longer.
I probably shave my legs about 3 times over autumn and winter, and if I do it’s for the sensation of smooth skin. I think in shorts weather I would shave because of that stigma though.
In my bikini area I shave everything because I feel that it’s more hygenic.
I get a bit lazy with shaving my legs in the winter but I’ll put my hands up and admit to being a hair removal freak! If I could afford to, I would quite happily get laser hair removal from the eyebrows down. I’m naturally not a very hairy person and my friends all think I’m insane, so it’s definitely something I do for myself. On top of the usual hair removal, I shave my arms, all the way up (hands included) and wax my ‘stash/side burns/cheek fuzz. I’m not so ridiculously anal that I couldn’t leave the house without doing it and I have periods where I lapse, but the moment I notice hairs, I’m swift to get rid of them! I realise it is ridiculous and is probably linked to feeling feminine but I just don’t like being ‘hairy’!
Hi Bec, the idea that shaving causes hair to grow back thicker has been proven false. It really does not make a difference. It’s just that hair does tend to get thicker as we get older and people usually start shaving young when it is lighter.
I do shave my legs and arm pits, but only as “needed”. And, fortunately, my leg hair is quite light except in a few spots and I don’t have to shave above my knees. That combined with working from home means that I can go a few days even in summer. I also use an electric razor so that I can avoid using all the disposable stuff and dry shave.
I shave because I like the look better. Perhaps I wouldn’t if it that was the fashion, I don’t know. I don’t wish for anyone to feel that they absolutely *must* shave and I think that the stigma is ridiculous, which includes calling it “dirty” or “unhygienic” which is just nonsense (how is having a little hair on your body so much more unhygienic than having even more hair on your head?). There have certainly been times when I’ve gone out and forgotten to shave or just didn’t think it was worth it. I admit that I felt a bit self-conscious, but it wasn’t the end of the world. But, like I said, my hair is lighter.
I have been surprised to spot a few women going very visibly unshaved in public. I hope that they didn’t take my second glance the wrong way. It’s just so unusual to see. But I was glad to see them.
” making a decision based on your convictions should simply be an act, not necessarily bravery. ”
Well, making a decision based on one’s convictions is often brave when following your convictions may lead to negative consequences. I’m not sure what the negative consequences would be here, but it can be a bit scary to face a society that treats body hair on women so negatively.